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Gotta "love" B&q (and Halfrauds)

Discussion in 'Ducati General Discussion' started by Zhed46, Oct 7, 2015.

  1. I needed to replace my lost Vernier calipers today and so I went up to B&Q. I asked no less than 3 people, only to be met with blank stares or incomprehension about the possibiity that such a device may exist. I tried to explain, even resorting to mime, but to no avail. Howvever one of the teenage service droids did react to the word "measuring" and so he keenly and proudly directed me to the rulers and tapes. When I tried to tell him these weren't what I was looking for he just went back into power-saving standby mode and was of no further assistance.

    Although there are big gaps in their knowledge about measuring tools, it seems B&Q staff are however, experts on the law, because on Saturday when I sent my 13 year old son to buy me a grinding disc, they wouldn't sell one to him on the grounds that it was an offensive weapon. I went up there myself later on and spoke to the manager who started arguing the toss with me about health and safety law and the defintion of an offensive weapon until I got fed up and told him I was a practising barrister (which is true).

    I tried Halfords for the Vernier calipers too, but received a similar series of slack jawed stares and confused grunts, so I went home and just decided to guess the measurement I needed to take instead. :(
     
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  2. Mime was never going to work, you should have performed an interpretative dance routine instead.
     
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  3. You could have tried explanatory surgery.

    It's like exploratory surgery and every bit as fun :upyeah:
     
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  4. RS components?
     
  5. That would have just ended with it raining
     
  6. I may as well, for all the good it did. Judging by the look of incredulity on one of the guy's faces, I could have been asking him to sell me a nuclear reactor or a time machine
     
  7. Mime for a vernier? I bet they thought you were enquiring about todger size.

    I got a Halford's vernier. It's crap. Eats batteries quicker than I do.

    Got a great one from...

    Lidl

    Really, smooth reliable and the it's still on its first battery.

    About six quid I think.

    I love China.

    You don't seem too successful at winning the other person over given your profession but I reckon Halfords etc are probably good training grounds, good luck and be strong - you can do it!
     
  8. Surely in that sort of place, a basic test on 'man knowledge' should be implemented. Maybe they should have also had better fathers.
     
  9. Regrettably, all my powers of persuasion couldn't convince him to sell me something the shop did not stock and which he clearly doubted the existence of.
     
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  10. True. True. There's a serious related point there

    I saw that Richard Noble (he of the Thrust jet powered land speed record cars) on TV the other night and he was saying that nobody does engineering any more, because although when he was growing up Britain still made stuff and that's what boys (and some girls too, no doubt) aspired to, it isn't the case these days.
     
  11. Doesn't exist then.

    Simple.
     
  12. Ebay, carbon body jobbie, digital, about a tenner delieverd with a spare battery
     
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  13. TBH mate,, although we prob all sympathise with you , is that the first time you have visited halfrauds or BnQ ?, because that is the normal,,, consider your self lucky that you did not end up paying over the odds for something that did not work !!
     
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  14. Ooh, carbon. Shiny :Hungry:
     
  15. Vernier calipers ..... are they the metal contraptions Forest Gump had on his legs as a kid
     
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  16. No, not the first time I've had this sort of thing happen by any stretch of the imagination. Just the first time I've posted about it. I also found the contrast between what happened with my son on Saturday and what happened with me today wryly amusing. Perhaps if they spent more time training their staff about relevant and useful stuff like tools and whatnot instead of trying to turn them all into 'elf and safety police then they'd give a better service?
     
  17. I reckon it's a tough call - I doubt the staff earn loads and I guess the staff turnover is quite high.

    Not exactly a motivating working environment to spend all day in, every day.
     
  18. Agree. Aren't we glad all those poky and inefficient little shops owned by a miserable (but knowledgable) old geezer in an oily brown dust coat have been driven out of business by these shining beacons of successful capitalism in action?
     
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  19. t
    thats capitalisim mate,, vote conservative for it to continue,,, ( you know it makes sense )
     
  20. Screwfix is your friend, strangely enough they are owned by the same company as B&Q...
     
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