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Cancer

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Pete1950, Oct 23, 2016.

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  1. I wish I had the voice of Homer
    To sing of prostate carcinoma
    Which kills a lot more chaps in fact
    Than met their doom when Troy was sacked.

    But thanks to modern surgeons' skills
    It can be stopped before it kills
    In nineteen out of twenty cases
    Upon a scientific basis.

    I asked a doctor, now my friend,
    To peer into my hinder end
    To prove or to disprove the rumour
    That I had a malignant tumour.

    He biopsied out some bits of tissue
    In order to decide the issue.
    The microscope returned the answer
    That certainly I had got cancer.

    So I was wheeled into the theatre
    Where holes were made to make me better.
    One set was in the perineum
    Where I can feel 'em but can't see 'em.

    Through one incision I don't doubt
    The neoplasm was taken out
    Along with glands and two lymph nodes
    Where cancer cells might find abodes.

    I'll swear without the risk of perjury
    It was a fancy bit of surgery.
    So do not wait for aches and pains
    To have a doctor check your drains.

    If he says 'cancer' you're a dunce
    Unless you have it out at once
    For if you wait it's sure to swell
    And may have progeny as well.

    My final word before I'm done
    Is cancer can be rather fun
    Provided one confronts the tumour
    With a lively sense of humour.

    I know that cancer often kills
    But so do bikes and booze and pills.
    A spot of laughter I am sure
    Usually speeds one's cure.
     
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  2. Have you had the all clear now? Only a few months since treatment isn't it? Fingers crossed and praise to Allah (your radiographer ;) ) that all is good :)
     
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  3. Live your life to the full and don't hold back. My closest friend, who I credit with having the most positive influence on making me the me I am today, sadly lost her fight against bile duct liver cancer last week. I wish you all the very best. Andy
     
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  4. as you say,, 19 out of 20,,, " do you feel lucky ? "
     
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  6. In the few times I've had the pleasure of conversing with you, one thing i can say is 'what a bloody nice bloke'

    Get well soon fella.
     
  7. we talking about the same Pete? :)
    or course we are and you are quite right.
     
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  8. Wishing you all the best and a speedy recovery
     
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  9. Bloody Hell, Pete........Hope is AOK...........

    I think I may be in a similar situation, but because of many invasive investigations when I was 11 and eventually found to have bowel cancer, I am not letting anyone stick their fingers up my bum again...............So I will drop dead complaining no doubt, but retaining an air of dignity and keep calm and carry on.
     
  10. I'm with Bradders on this one
    :)
     
  11. Best wishes Pete.

    You are far too ornery to be at home to Mr Cancer for very long and I predict that you will beat it handsomely.

    In fact, I insist upon it.
     
  12. Very best wishes to you Pete.
     
  13. Like the rest of your posts I gave up after the second line but have git the gist off the more understandable posts. All the best hope all is going well.
     
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  14. Agreed and really sorry for your loss, Andy.
     
  15. Please get it investigated and sorted, Al. For the sake of all those around you, if not for yourself.
     
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  16. Yes Al, follow Pete's example and stand tall :Finger:

    Chiz, you would need a stool and I suspect Al might too :Angelic:
     
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  17. I take your point, Al. Sometimes the diagnostic procedures can actually be more intrusive, inconvenient, and painful than the eventual surgery. Dignity has to be checked in at the door of the oncology clinic, I'm afraid, and retrieved as you go out. Just remember - you won't be in a position to complain about the doctors later if you didn't let them do their job in the first place.
     
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  18. I'm relying on the PSA test, Pete......which is slightly 'elevated', but as yet apparently 'no cause for concern'.
     
  19. I am at the "three monthly check ups" stage now. Looking OK so far. As we all know, sometimes it returns later on, sometimes it doesn't. I won't be praising allah in either event.
     
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