Quotes

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by XH558, Mar 24, 2019.

  1. Wrecked said:
    “I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”


    Me?
     
  2. If wit was sh1t I'd be on a monument.
     
  3. Bike thieves...... :mad:
     
  4. You're gonna look pretty stupid eating corn on the cob with no fucking teeth.
     
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  5. "I don't have a gun" - Kurt Cobain

    (so where did he get that f***er from?)
     
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  6. "Ain't you my huckleberry"
     
  7. "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."
     
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  8. “watch ‘im, he’ll have some fucker’s eye out”

    King Harold
     
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  9. "For a longtime people use to be polytheists & believe in many gods. Then modern times focused them on one god, well we're slowly getting closer to the real number."

    Christoper Hitchen
     
  10. My mates dad said to us when we were in our late teens "Never write a book about fanny you've missed". A quote I've always remembered and adhered to...…..has cost me a few houses over the years though!
     
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  11. "In a lifetime the gambling debt will level itself out."
    A bloke called anthony,back on site/yapton in 2000:upyeah:
     
  12. Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes.

    Billy Connolly
     
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  13. "I'm pretty sure it's the red wire" - Unidentified
     
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  14. Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
    Max Ehrmann, 1948
     
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  15. Going forward

    Sowing the seeds

    Don’t do as I do do as I say
     
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  16. images.jpg
     
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  17. Wear sunscreen.
    If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.
    The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience...
    I will dispense this advice now.

    Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
    But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked...
    You're not as fat as you Imagine.


    Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.
    The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind.
    The kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

    Do one thing everyday that scares you.

    Sing.

    Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

    Floss.

    Don't waste your time on jealousy;
    Sometimes you're ahead,
    Sometimes You're behind.
    The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

    Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults;
    If you Succeed in doing this, tell me how.

    Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

    Stretch.

    Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your
    Life.
    The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

    Get plenty of calcium.

    Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

    Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.
    Whatever you do, don't Congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either.
    Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.
    Enjoy your body, Use it every way you can... Don't be afraid of it, or what other people Think of it,
    It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own...

    Dance... even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

    Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

    Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

    Brother and sister together we'll make it through
    Someday your spirit will take you and guide you there
    I know you've been hurting, but I've been waiting to be there
    For you.
    And I'll be there, just tell me now, whenever I can.
    Everybody's free.

    Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.

    Be nice to your siblings;
    They are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

    Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on.
    Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

    Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard;
    Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

    Travel.

    Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will Philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

    Respect your elders.

    Don't expect anyone else to support you.
    Maybe you have a trust fund, Maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

    Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

    Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

    But trust me on the sunscreen...
     
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  18. Thanks George:upyeah:


    I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an emperor.
    That's not my business.
    I don't want to rule or conquer anyone.
    I should like to help everyone if possible.
    Jew - Gentile - Black Man, White.
    We all want to help one another, human beings are like that.
    We want to live by each other's happiness.
    Not by each other's misery.
    We don't want to hate and despise one another.
    And this world has room for everyone, and the good Earth is rich can provide for everyone.
    The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way.
    Greed has poisoned men's souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed.
    We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in.
    Machinery that gives us abundance has left us in want.
    Our knowledge has made us cynical.
    Our cleverness, hard and unkind.
    We think too much, and feel too little.
    More than machinery, we need humanity.
    More that cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness.
    Without these qualities life will be violent, and all will be lost.
    The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together.
    The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men - cries out for universal brotherhood - for the unity of us all.
    Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world - millions of despairing men, women, and little children - victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people.
    To those who can hear me, I say - do not despair.
    The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed - the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress.
    The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people.
    And so long as men die, liberty will never perish. ...
    Soldiers!
    don't give yourselves to brutes - men who despise you - enslave you - who regiment your lives - tell you what to do - what to think and what to feel!
    Who drill you - diet you - treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder.
    Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men - machine men with machine minds and machine hearts!
    You are not machines!
    You are not cattle!
    You are men!
    You have the love of humanity in your hearts!
    You don't hate!
    Only the unloved hate - the unloved and the unnatural!
    Soldiers!
    Don't fight for slavery!
    Fight for liberty!
    In the 17th Chapter of St Luke it is written: "the Kingdom of God is within man" - not one man nor a group of men, but in all men!
    In you!
    You, the people have the power - the power to create machines.
    The power to create happiness!
    You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure.
    Then - in the name of democracy - let us use that power - let us all unite.
    Let us fight for a new world - a decent world that will give men a chance to work - that will give youth a future and old age a security.
    By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power.
    But they lie!
    They do not fulfill that promise.
    They never will!
    Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people!
    Now let us fight to fulfill that promise!
    Let us fight to free the world - to do away with national barriers - to do away with greed, with hate and intolerance.
    Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men's happiness.
    Soldiers!
    in the name of democracy, let us all unite.


    Final speech from the great dictator written by Charlie Chaplin.
     
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  19. Yo mumma
     
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