That's a good point. I got Sonos speakers all over the house and used to have planet rock playing all day everyday which made the house feel less empty. I'm used to being on my own now so I don't do it as much but having said that it's on now.
I leave my Alexa on so as I don’t feel alone especially if I go out I don’t like going back to an empty house
With these puzzles you have to puzzle whatever the main character is seeing, so we have to puzzle what Santa sees
I’m filling the time as best as I can. We came to blows again tonight, that’s when I realised that the woman in the house is not the woman I love. The woman I love has gone, she died and I now feel i need to some how bury her, if you know what I mean not literally. May need some more time to mourn her before we get that sorted, this thought has really got me down today, very
This is a great idea. Though you should write down the three best things that happened everyday and only one bad -the the worst one.
Hi Lumbux This is a grieving process it’s saying goodbye to what was, it takes time. Just to reassure you that it’s normal. It’s also very sad You will experience ups and downs while you process it all. It’s also a time of no answers so don’t put pressure on yourself trying to find them Some you will find now some won’t appear till later CALM 0800 58 58 58 Helpline & web chat available 5pm to midnight every day
hello, yes I have spoken to someone on here, I have spoken to a lot of people from work colleagues to neighbour, if I’m honest it’s not working at the moment. I think that’s because I’ve only just realised what the real problem was, the need to grieve for the woman that used to live With me not the one who still lived with me. I was so rapped up in trying to win her back when she is long gone. She’s left now, we had a huge argument tonight, things took a dark turn and this is the first time she’s been upset sines this all happened. She even gave me a hug, not sure if that was the best thing as it just upset me more. I always said to her that I wanted to go through this pain when we’re old and grey, I wanted her to go first so she didn’t have to feel this pain.
you may find you get mood swings varying from anger that she could do this to you, to despair that you weren't able to stop it from happening, to guilt that your family life has been destroyed, to hope that maybe she will change and realise what she has done. These conflicting emotions will give you a lot of lows, and if you realise this, as black as the future may seem, you have the ability to pull through it - these days are probably the worst as the impact hits you far more than it hits her. She will likely be focused on her new relationship, and (unlike you) she is getting physical and mental support from her new partner. From these days you can get (and probably need) some support either from your family members, your workmates, your friends or from the self-help groups your GP recommended. It's a sad situation - you are one of thousands men and women who have to deal with their partners infidelity - hence, quite a few on this forum can offer their experiences - you cannot rush it - it doesn't work like that. Be aware that you have the capacity to get through it and find a new life - I can only tell you how it affected me, but the term (I believe) is "Betrayal Trauma", and if you google it, you might find better explanations.
Leaving my wife was a logical step, she obviously felt differently as my departure was a bolt of of the blue for her, long time coming but all the build-up to that was in my head and in confidence with my best friend and close family. I felt guilt for that. With my my more recent girlfriend I was on the receiving end, some may say justice. My ex-wife was very sympathetic and supportive which surprised and impressed me. Six months on an still in a delicate emotional state day to day, still heartbroken and in mourning really. I know it's never going to be but still can't fully come to terms with letting go. This week was pretty shit as yesterday was 2 years since we met and today my birthday. Lumbux, it's going to take time. Being around her, living under the same roof, is going to make this night on impossible. If you're determined to stay in the house then she has to leave, this is going to be hard if she's not willing. As you say she's already made her mind up and has her future sorted where as you're left standing in the smoking remains of your life wondering WTF happened. She's being unreasonable as I've said before, only way I can see forward TBH, though I don't know the full details, is for you to seek legal advice and sue for divorce. Please, as I've said before on this thread, that infidelity is only valid in this context if it's less than six months since discovery. Lord knows why but the law sees it as that if you wait beyond that point your are accepting of the situation! My situation would have been so much better had I done this back in 2008, instead I stuck around for the sake of the kids and consequentially had to give her half of my inheritance from my parents and her suing me for divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour in walking out. With hers still alive I don't get anything from her side of the family whereupon she'll be able to retire in comfort whilst I may well be working until I drop.
Perfectly normal to feel this way so don't beat yourself up about this, It's part of the letting go process. It's the realisation that if someone can do that to you, then it's definately not the person for you This is the first time you've stood your ground and said you're more important than her and her unreasonable behaviour and the kids deserve better so you're moving on. It also for her, may make her realise her fail safe option of the husband has gone whilst she plays around. Concentrate on what's best for the kids, that includes you being around, and take care of yourself too
Trying very hard not to be bitter and twisted, it's not pretty and it's not clever... recognising that is now my route forward. Covid has thrown a real spanner in the works in terms of me moving forward and rebuilding my life with a move into my own place in a new town and rebooting my life, that's all on hold until late Autumn at the earliest now despite having an offer accepted. It's also hammering my finances.
