I do feel for you. One of the few regrets from my divorce is loosing my mother-in-law, a nicer lady you couldn't hope to meet. The theory that daughters turn out like their mothers didn't apply in my case. Hope that's the same for you but the other way around if you get my drift.
Its about control and the fear of losing it. Her daughter escaped once and returned, this, in the mother's twisted view, is proof of her daughter being better off at home, tending to her mother's needs. You are the catalyst and the threat that will break up the nest once more. She will spare no vitriol to undermine you, showing her daughter how worthless you are, how it will be a big mistake to move out again (its not really about you Adam, but any person who might draw her daughter away). Disappearing on your arrival/departure indicates that she wants you to seek her out and signifies to her that she has that crumb of power over you too. My M-I-L always used to disappear just as I was about to serve a meal that I'd prepared - all because she wanted to be begged to join us. Eventually, we stopped going to find her, or calling her to the table. "Why didn't you call me, if supper was ready?" "There was no need, because you knew it was ready before you went", was how it eventually stopped. All the actions you describe are very typical - perhaps not as extreme - of insecure people trying desperately to keep a grip on what they have, are familiar with and feel they can exert some control over. There are much milder versions of this referred to as 'empty nest syndrome' when the children are off to Uni or moving out as adults; most Mums keep a lid on it and suffer in silence, but others, like your M-I-L never stop, hence her son still being at home and is undoubtedly socially crippled by her overbearing ways. It becomes more bearable once you understand the root cause Good luck
nice handbags would generally be deemed as designer and therefor the anti Christ but I see where you’re going with this. I’ll drop a choddy in her knitting kit.
I have met Adam’s partner. She is clearly FAR TOO GOOD FOR HIM. Adam, drop her and hitch up with Mum. You know it makes sense. HTH
My Ex-Wife's family were 'interesting' the mum was a drunk, but one of those well spoken quite posh drunks who by about 3pm just gets f*cking passive aggressive and nasty, and funnily enough I spotted early on in my relationship that when my then missus had a few glasses she was really spikey and unpleasant, a sign of things to come.... and in the end was one of the reasons I left her, she came from a family as you say where it's 'their way and political views or the highway' If your missis can see the issues and deal with the facts about how her mum behaves you have a chance, as long as you don't project your frustration on your missus, because that puts her in an impossible position. If she can't, and she won't stand up to her mum and can't see she's in anyway a problem then you might have an issue mate, really hate to say it. I've been there though...
Tbf with the spelling of the title, she probably has a case to give you a few lashes and a thrashing with her cane And yes I get the irony of me pulling someone on spelling
Mate, some women are just batshit crazy,..always have been, always will be,...and if you add alcohol into the equation it only makes it worse. Are you absolutely sure your girlfriend exhibits none of these traits?? Not now, but twenty years down the line your life could be utter misery, if you have the slightest doubt, cut your losses and run for cover now.
That’s one crazy woman that wants control over everyone and everything The best thing you can do is cut her off and for her kids to stand up to her The best thing that happened to me and my family was my so called parents cutting me my brother and our kids out of their lives The last 6 years have been the best of our lives because we had to put up with crap like your experiencing most of our lives The best thing you will ever do is loose those shackles Good luck
Ps my ex mother in law turned out to be a better mother since being diagnosed with myeloma in 2017 Never heard from “the parents”