Alcohol & Mental Health

You're bound to feel better for it...

 

Spoiler: Long answer

Resisting the numbness/distance/temporary relief that alcohol gives you is essential. For the sake of an evening's relief (at best) the underlying condition is made worse by alcohol consumption. Personal experience.

It's a cliché but exercise, as much as you can manage, can help. It changes your brain chemistry, and the physical effects and changes to your body changes how you feel about yourself, changes your self-image. It's never too late to start caring about your body and thence, your mind. Personal experience.

Changing your thought patterns, your habits, what you think about, is hard. Trying to shut the door on painful thoughts and memories is terribly difficult. You sort of say to yourself, when you start to put yourself down - "Stop! No, I'm not going to do this. I am not going to reinforce my own negative self-image by constantly re-living old hurt and old battles, putting myself down. I am going to think of something else." Rinse and repeat, until it becomes the new habit. Personal experience.

If you can see someone in a professional capacity, do so. The first professional you see may not be able to help - therapists, psychologists etc are not all created equal. A decent one, with training in CBT, can help you identify how you formed habits of anxiety during your childhood, the self-hate, the depression. Personal experience.

Set-backs on the road to recovery are common. A bout of depression just when you think maybe you are beating it, is to be expected. It doesn't mean you aren't fixing yourself. You won't always feel the way you feel when the depression is at its worst. Personal experience.

First, last and always - don't give up. Whatever you are using to beat yourself up, you are genuinely better than that and you are worth the effort of rescuing yourself - with help when needed.

TL/DR version:

Others have experienced what you are describing. Try to resist booze if you are depressed, it makes things worse in the long run.

 

Anger anxiety and depression to a lower degree for me ! I occasionally have a few beers and I do still enjoy drinking but mainly on holiday I don't miss the horrible haze for 3-4 days afterwards and it 100% clarified my thoughts so no horrible intrusive thoughts on a Sunday sitting on the sofa felling depressed ,it worked for me and recently my sister who is 48 with a big job had a breakdown and panic attacks .I got her to see the behavior cognitive specialist I used , he got her to stop drinking and a couple of small lifestyle changes !! She's brand new too now ! the non alcoholic beer can still give you a little hangover though , I think its the wheat so I stick to soft drinks and now when I indulge I don't suffer like I did before !! Good luck pal and hope it works for you !!

 

Been there in the past, it’s no fun and it takes years before you even realise you’re ‘there’.

I’d try and ween myself off the ADs if at all possible but don’t just stop them. Don’t just stop the alcohol either but begin to cut down gradually.

Try St. John’s Wort although it can, allegedly, react with some other prescribed medicines so if you’re on something else check first. Depending on your size you may need to take 2-3 X the dosage stated on the box. Boots sell them.

Better still, IMHO and cheaper than StJW is Tryptophan (or L-Tryptophan) an essential amino acid which is a necessary precursor for the production within the body of seratonin and melatonin. The former being the ‘feel good’ hormone and the latter being the ‘sleep’ hormone. It comes in a powder format usually which is a bugger to dissolve though.

Also as DB said above - counselling, it helps.

GWS

 

What you on about, booze is best
Guinness gives you strength!

 

Best thing would be to aim to remove your alcohol dependency. Sounds serious - 'dependancy' - but try to think why you turn to the booze. If you are able to wean yourself off it, your mind will be clearer and you'll have a chance to start the process of dealing with your issues. Maybe try an AA meeting....
For me, and others I know, seeing a counsellor is/was the absolute best thing to do, if only to help you identify the root of your issue(s). Your GP would probably not give you anti-depression drugs unless you're suicidal and should recommend 'talking therapies' i.e. counselling. I'd say go private for the counselling if you have the funds/opportunity and ensure that you use someone you can talk to easily (sounds obvious but not necessarily easy). Hopefully you have friends that you can talk to and don't say crap like "pull yourself together"!

 

@Justatad

I mentioned it in another thread and might sound like a pusher, but CBD oil is great for anxiety. I think we all suffer with it now and again in various degrees, but mine (was only slight anyway) has completely disappeared. Might be worth a try.

With regards to the alcohol, you don't need it in your life. I'm in my 8th year sober now and will never drink again. Life is so much better/easier/clearer without it. I did dry January and kept going, and here we are.

However, in order to give it up, be prepared to change your routines of going to the pub, and be prepared to face criticism and insults - the majority find it weird if you don't drink. You soon realise who your friends are.

You'll need to fill those gaps with something else, whether that is a sport, cinema, or even just going for a walk, but ultimately you must take yourself out of those situations. Boredom leads to too much thinking time which leads to negative thoughts and depression. Keep your mind active, onwards and upwards mate.

 

Hi mate,

Firstly, I admire the fact you put something so personal on a forum.

Alcohol is a depressant no matter what, and definitely increasing anxiety, so going without it will be bound to help.

My advice would be don't change a thing about your lifestyle intentional, as if you do you will make associations and start to think you are missing out on having a drink, then have one, just remember why you aren't having an alcoholic drink and feel proud that you are happier in that situation, then you reinforce your own decision and not think you are missing out on anything... which you aren't, and you can start to see others through new eyes. You were not born a drinker, and remember when you dad gave you your first sip of beer it tasted horrible, which is your body rejecting it as a poision, but you carry on, get used to it and then get brainwashed by society and images associated with drinking. Most people talk jibberish after a drink, and don't like drinking alcohol on their own with others drinking soft drinks, so I think most people know deep down its just a crutch that you don't need, but in our society is used to remove barriers whilst socialising.... I could go on but I am babbling.

Even though I think too much, as above, I made the decision to not drink at home, as I remember more embarassing times, bike purchases lol, and silly emails / text after a drink, and I can't really remember any time which it improved my time at home. Equally I rather spend quality time doing things with my family rather than drinking, on the internet, and being lazy. But saying that, I do have a drink with friends socially and use it for the drug that it is, but being aware of I am in control of it, rather than it is in control of me, as I know a few times in the past it has been in control of me, so it is just being aware.

I hope this helps, and good luck to you.

 

Yes, talking therapy helped and also that process surfaced ASC and ADHD traits (now diagnosed). I cut out alcohol at Christmas and feel better for it. I had a single 330ml can of beer last night @ teatime and could feel it this morning... which puts me right off for another however long. I’m eating a lot more chocolate though... on balance I’m happier.

 

Talking therapies can help you understand why you developed your obsessions, what purpose they serve and also help you overcome them but, from your story, I would think this would be long term therapy and that pushes you towards private therapists.

If you go the therapy route, and I hope you do, then there are some things to keep in mind.

Not all therapists are good therapists. Not all therapists are a good match for all clients and vice versa. Not all therapies are a good match for all clients and vice versa. So my advice would be, if working with a therapist doesn’t feel right then that therapist or therapy is probably not right for you. It’s ok to tell them that and to move on.

You have to be able to feel you can fully trust your therapist because therapy often feels exposing and uncomfortable but, if you have a good therapist, you’ll also feel you’re in safe hands. It might take a while for that trust to build but your therapist should be good with that.

The only other advice I’d give is to, if possible, avoid chemicals if you’re using them to not feel. I think, to get through this, you are going to have to push through the pain. That might make it hard to sustain being sober but, if you fall off the wagon don’t beat yourself up. You got on it before so you can get on it again.

Whatever way you decide to handle it. I wish you all the best.

 

I’ll be honest, I’ve got similar issues with anxiety and depression, in terms of every day just feels the same, life can feel joyless and focusing on negatives all the time.

like others have said, and you know, or you wouldn’t have asked, you need to cut out the booze, alchohol is a depressant, it’s not disputed, and I’m really sorry but it’s absolutely not a case that ‘1 or 2 takes the edge off it’ because that’s using a dangerous drug (which it is, as much as it’s socially accepted drug) to self medicate.

try to cut down gradually over say 1 month, as going cold turkey may not work, and then give it a proper go, min 20 days totally sober and you’ll feel the physical benefit. The other thing I do is smash the Vitimin D and minerals to try and bring my body levels up, it won’t work for all as a lot of mine is seasonal depression.

they are the easy bits…. The harder bit is you need to talk mate, find someone and book a session, just one, or maybe just a couple. Random dudes on here can’t help fix the underlying, we can share some thoughts and experiences but we can’t put together the pieces of the puzzle like a professional can.
In the meantime keep talking to ANYONE, the main thing is to keep talking mate.

 

Been on the edge more than ever the last 6 months. Stood on bridges several times lack of bottle and pang of conscience, don’t know which, has stopped me. At none of those points have I been pissed (and I’ve been drinking a lot during this time) or I suspect outcome would be different. I’m very wysiwyg in almost every way.
But…Men don’t talk. Those that do other men don’t want to listen to. People say they do, doors always open, phones always on. They don’t mean it. Simple fact.

 

doors always open bradders…. I do mean it. That’s proper scary stuff, I was struggling badly in 17 when I left my wife, I’ve not been that bad since but please mate keep trying to talk to people

 

Im pretty sure social media has done just as much damage to people’s mental health as alchohol, especially over the last 5 years or so.
Just a hunch.

 

The problem with an open door from a mate is men feel embarrassed to talk of their perceived weakness to close pals. A stranger can often be a better solution.

If you ever felt that bad and PM'd me, I would drive to wherever you are for a chat - that's a real offer.

Not today though mate, I'm playing Formby Hall and fancy my chances

 

I think the OP should be commended for only drinking Saturdays.

 

Mental health… wow, I could write a book on it. I know this is an old thread but it’s now become relevant as more members reply.

Before losing my wife I suffered with OCD and ASD, on the spectrum but only diagnosed in my later years. In my childhood it got me the beatings of my life as my mum didn’t understand my behavioural issues.

After my wife was killed in my presence and took her last breaths in my arms, my mental health is nothing short of broken. I’ve been speaking once a fortnight to ‘councillors’ who just ask how I’m doing and if they can help at all. My GP realised I needed more and referred me to Invicta mental health who unfortunately were equally as helpless. I’ve since been seen by a secondary care psychologist who is absolutely appalled at the lack of treatment I’ve had. She has taken me on as a private patient and is fitting me in after hours just to get me the treatment I so desperately need.

She said I have severe PTSD, chronic depression, anxiety disorder, survivors grief and suicidal tendencies. There isn’t a day go by I don’t try think of a way out, both to easy my pain, but to be with Emma again wherever she may be. I try plan what’s best for the family, do I accidentally overdose on the pills, do I take a long walk of a short pier, do I smash the van up and look like an accident ? Then I think my kids can’t go through this all again.

There been many occasions I’ve been driving Emma’s car on the motorway and night and just floored it to the 155limiter then looking for a bridge to hit. Then I come right briefly and stop. One day though the darkness will win… it’s something you have no control over, when you hit that low point, and I mean low as fuck, you can’t reason with yourself , you know you’re buggered but you can’t dig a way out.

Best thing I’ve done, deleted Anti -social media. No one gave a rats ass about me, everything was a tick or a ‘like’ , no one ever really checked up on how your genuinely feeling. Since deleting socials, friends have slowly popped out the woodwork again.

For anyone going through a dark time or rough patch, I am here for you, these are not just words, I will call you, I will drive 5 hours to come see if the darkness has descended , I will FaceTime you, whatever it takes…. That offer is open to anyone in here. If you need help and are not getting it, send me a message with you number or ask for mine.

Mental health is no joke and sadly we are being failed and left behind in the rush as the NHS struggles through its constant cuts.

 

All that ^ sounds like a symptoms. You don't need to be pissed for alcohol to affect your mood. I gave up alcohol over 15 years ago, best thing I ever did, next to giving up smoking.
There's plenty of help available for depression and anxiety, even via the NHS, they'll typically refer you on to some CBT courses. Or, even youtube is an endless recourse, if you want to be down with the cool kids, start with some basic Buddhist philosophies, it's were most to the modern mindfulness therapies stem from.
Most people will go through shit times, mindfulness will teach you how to recognise (self) destructive thought patterns and change them. Certain daily practices will also help.
Meditate don't medicate...