Through counselling I found it wasn't my fault and I had been let down by numerous people from childhood I didn't dare question authority in the home which went into my adult life I have also been in an abusive relationship. I felt sick reading this bigjimmy as the dread is awful. I was mentally abused, luckily never physically It does get better it just takes time and baby steps put no pressure on yourself We only have today this moment in time it's precious Pat yourself in the back you made it through today Having myeloma has bern a life saver for me and clarity and closure on the past
I've got too much going on at the moment to take a break. On top of everything she's letting her Dad (who is an awful man and for me the root cause of a lot of her issues) stay with us for a few days next week as he lives abroad and is (literally) using us to stop over en route to the far east. He also uses ours as a base to see his other kids- grr. When I complained she said her friend (our mutual friend who she works with) had offered me a bed at hers while he took root in my place. Dumbfounded. He doesn't know what's going on so I've told here he needs to know before he arrives. @Zeus - thanks - I do feel stronger, just knowing I'll be out of this hopefully soon. I've been asking for details of her finances to see if any weight of my financial burden could be borne by her and she's knocked up a spreadsheet rather than show me her payslips and bills, so I'm convinced (and have told her) that she's hiding money. Despite me saying I had a lot going on this afternoon, she kept on and on about wanting to discuss everything there and then until I lost my rag and shouted - so guess who's the bad man now? I said we could talk tomorrow/Friday, but apparently she's busy then - I can't win, which is symptomatic of my life for as long as I care to remember.
Hi Viv - I feel bad putting it up here, whilst conscious of your health issues. Thanks for your kind words. There are clearly contributory factors with my wife's mental health, but there is complete denial and moreover, most of the blame is on me and my reactions - I do try to stay calm, but am at a high level of stress a lot of the time. I've actually said to a few people it feels like (mental) domestic abuse to me - I'm sure if I treated her like this and other women knew, I'd be pilloried, she'd be referred to some charity and I'd be further vilified, maybe even prosecuted? I've got to the point where I'm so, so tired of it all - I'm almost 54 - who knows how long left? I want to enjoy what there will be and I want my kids to know how much I love them and they can come to me for anything. My fear is she has already started on them (for a while now) and that will get worse in my absence - my 14YO daughter is already feeling it and picking up on it, bless her.
By the way I'm sorry you're going through it too, albeit I believe for different reasons. Reach out to me if you need a chat, I can listen as well as spill my guts!
... Don't you worry about me You're important today and men also get domestically abused. Just know that your reacting to a situation that is very heightened
Thanks Viv - some familiar ones there but it's hard to know if it's deliberate or through emotion on her part, or even how she's been 'programmed' by her own experiences. I'm keeping a low profile for the rest of today and planing to be out for most of the day tomorrow and Friday - I may well plan to do that a fair bit from now on and use the time to learn routes for my knowledge tests. That said, it's not nice having to 'flee' my own home for sanity and peace.....
It's ok to have peace and sanity even if that means having to 'flee' See it as time out of the situation.
Things looking better. I landed a(mother) job - this time in my usual field, but am keeping up the taxi work. We are also more amicable and working towards an agreeable split.
