What Are You Watching......?

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by XH558, Nov 2, 2018.

  1. There's an online quiz where you have to guess whether the originator of given quote is Madeley or Partridge. Given that I know most of Partridge's oeuvre off by heart and can quote large parts of it verbatim, I usually get a perfect score, but to someone less unhealthily invested it must be quite tricky because they are uncannily similar.

    https://www.sporcle.com/games/CallyCat/richard-madeley-or-alan-partridge
     
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  2. He’s horrible, imagine the *stuff that will come out later about him.
     
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  3. 40 of the best/worst Madeleyisms:

    40.Talking to Ricky Gervais about Chris Rock
    “We had him on last week. Complete Prat”

    39.When interviewing Keira Knightly
    “Can we get some make up please, get Keira looking like a crack whore, she’d make a good crack whore”

    38.After a man breaks down crying after meeting the paramedics who saved his life in a motorbike accident
    “Stop crying! This is supposed to make you happy! Anyway after the break, the biggest dog in the UK. And he really is big. Don’t miss it”

    37.“There’s not many better things than seeing an older woman skipping”

    36.To Opera singer Russell Watson and Faye Tozer from Steps
    “I always thought both of your music was a bit crap but this is quite good”

    35.After being told by Kamikaze survivors that they didn’t want to watch clips of the VE celebrations because they had lost several crew members the day before VE.
    “Well we’ve got a clip so we’ll run it anyway”

    34.In reply to John Fashanu saying his nightmares were so bad, he often woke up with his bed saturated
    ”With sweat?”

    33.After giving out the phone-in competition number
    “A numerically satisfying number there.”

    32.After Stephen Hawkings replied ’no’ to his question of whether he believed in a God or not
    “ (Distraught) I was hoping for a yes there”

    31.To a caller
    “I understand you have a little lad of 12. Is it a boy or a girl?”

    30.After Ricky Gervais points out the cameraman is doing the ‘wanker sign’ behind Madeleys back
    “He’s been doing it most of the week (sighs). He doesn’t realize that I can see him doing it in the reflection from the other camera’s Auto-cue…I don’t know why he’s still working here, really.”

    29.”Women lie about sex. It doesn’t matter how many partners she’s said she’s had before you. She’s lying”

    28..Talking to a child who has spinal injuries meaning he had to wear a huge neck and head brace
    “Hey you look just like Buzz Lightyear”

    27.“The one characteristic I don’t think I have any shreds of is suicidal tendencies”

    26.To Jade Goody
    “You’re quite sharp. It’s just in the pure sense of the word that you’re ignorant”

    25.“Remember when you had thrush Judy? You had a terrible time of it”

    24.To someone with an eating disorder
    “When you were younger did you have a brother or sister who used to steal food off you, you know like dogs do and that’s why you wolf it down?”

    23.To Eddie Grant
    “I hope when I’m reincarnated I come back black because you age better”

    22.When interviewing Primordial Dwarves
    “Do you find that people patronize you? That means that they talk down to you”

    21.When Interviewing Frank Sinatra’s daughter
    “It’s obvious you loved your father, but do you think you were actually in love with him?”

    20.When Interviewing Eddie Jordan
    ”You’re looking good. You were born in 1948, Judy you were born in 1948…”

    19. The first question to man giving his first TV appearance after being wrongly imprisoned for years
    “So, did you do it?”

    18.To the comedians Punt and Dennis
    ”You two have been together for 24 years, just like me and Judy! Although me and Judy were only having an affair in the beginning, weren’t we Jude? Is that the same for you two, did you just start off as an affair too?”

    17.After Judy misjudged someone’s age
    “Ha ha, she failed maths. She did, she did!”

    16.When Judy was complaining about her dislike of squid being prepared
    “Your point’s not valid Finnegan”

    15..Talking about how he doesn’t like anyone interfering with his cooking
    “No I am bad. I’m like Hitler in the kitchen”

    14.When interviewing an actor who was currently playing a role as a bi-sexual
    “Who would YOU prefer to have sex with, me or Judy?”

    13.After Judy said that she’d like to have become a Dr if she wasn’t a TV presenter
    “No, you would have ended up killing everybody”

    12.To singer Sophie Ellis Bextor
    “Where did you get your face?”

    11.“So he suffers for us. He bears our pain in the most public way possible. He serves a timeless human need, one that goes back long before the time of Christ. Perhaps this has always been PAUL GASCOIGNE’S destiny”

    10. To a teenager suffering from anorexia
    “5 stone! That’s concentration camp thin that is”

    9.(To Judy) Do you remember that soup I made last week? Absolutely horrible. Had to throw it in the garden”

    8.To one of the Birmingham 6
    ‘What do you notice most that has changed during your 18 years in jail?
    Cars have five gears now, for example.”

    7.“I’ve never met a single woman who’s happy with the way she looks, except Jordan, although I’ve never met her”

    6.To the actor Mark Williams
    ”You’ve lost some weight, haven’t you? Why’s that? You’re not ill are you?”

    5.To Charlotte Church
    ”OK, imagine I’m someone from a record company with a ponytail… (Begins shouting)…. I OWN you, Church!”

    4.When interviewing someone who had an obsessive crush on a celebrity
    “So, Jane, when did you first realise that you were quite clearly mad?”

    3.”When me and Judy were trying to conceive. I used to douse my balls in icy water before intercourse”

    2. Conversation with Skins star Nicholas Hoult
    Richard: “How old are you now? 18?”
    Nicholas: “No I’m 17″
    Richard: “Really, I thought you were 18″
    Nicholas: “Nope”
    Richard: “But you’re nearly 18 though, aren’t you?”
    Nicholas: “Actually I’ve just turned 17″
    Richard: “Well I suppose I’ll have to take your word for it”

    1.When talking to Bill Clinton about his affair with Monica Lewinsky
    “I know what it’s like to be wronged by the press. I was once accused of shoplifting. Unlike you though, I knew I was innocent”.​
     
    #5723 Zhed46, Oct 11, 2024
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2024
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  4. Pure class.
     
  5. Madeley has undoubtedly been in the chocolate/white robe situation.
     
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  6. Yep. And he's defo also tried to sing "Why do BIRDS..." to Judy in the wrong register. The "pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre/chocolate mousse" scene is probably one of the funniest in sitcom history. In fact the whole episode is.

     
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  7. While I'm here, I may as well inform everybody that I are been mostly watching England absolutely THRASH Pakistan in the test match and also bingeing Succession, which is unquestionably one of the greatest drama series ever made.
     
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  8. The first painting “captured his curiosity”

    The second one “caught his inner vulnerability”
    The last one caught “his reflectiveness”

    I kid you not.

    God bless you Alan.
     
  9. What a legend
     
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  10. Not sure it this has been mentioned before, but just started series one
    Everyone Else Burns.

    Everyone Else Burns' is a coming-of-age comedy following a Mancunian family and the puritanical Christian sect to whom they are devoted. The family is headed by patriarch David, played by Simon Bird and his amazing haircut. The family are steadfast in preparing for Armageddon and avoiding eternal damnation, although worldly temptations sometimes get in the way. As they navigate modern-day life, the show explores what it feels like to balance faith, family and identity in a world that could end tomorrow, even though it most likely will not.
     
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  11. It’s quite funny. Real briefcase wanker character
     
  12. Loving this...:D
     
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  13. Perfect couple. Couple in and a real whodunnit
     
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  14. On BBC2, John Martyn in concert at Reading university in 1978.
     
  15. Disclaimer, on Apple TV, starring Cate Blanchett. Blanchett plays Catherine Ravenscroft, a successful and respected television documentary journalist whose work has been built on revealing the concealed transgressions of long-respected institutions. When an intriguing novel written by a widower, played by Kline, appears on her bedside table, she is horrified to realize she is a key character in a story that she had hoped was long buried in the past. A story that reveals her darkest secret. A secret she thought was hers alone.
     
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  16. The old morcombe and wise movie. Still funny.
     
  17. I never take sugar with hot drinks unless i feel a little flat.;), i've no idea what your taking about but'll google it.:upyeah:
     
  18. It’s on Apple TV
     
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  19. STAX: Soulsville USA. The story of STAX records, the music and the times in which they were formed and which helped mould them. If you’re into Otis Redding, Sam & Dave, Booker T and the MG’s and the like then well worth a look. Sky Documentaries.
     
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  20. Cinema visit recently to see Lee - film about Lee Miller. Liked it.
     
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