I once hit a pheasant and that hurt. Or it could have been a midget wearing a feather boa. I'm not sure now I think of it
I spoke with Tim at Ducati UK and HRH used to own an 1198 SP, but now has an 1199r, which I believe he'll be trading in for the Superleggera....if they make him one :smile: Oh and technically he doesnt live off benefits. The royals are one of the biggest land owners in the country (behind the church of course) Charlie pretty much owns Cornwall for example. Now I dont want to get into the pro royal/anti royal debate...although I think I have :biggrin:
Those suffering the terror - the unspeakable day-long terror of dehydration! A bottle of water either in a white knuckle grip, as if hanging on to life itself, or on display, as if to say, "I've got water, I can drink it whenever I feel a bit parched!" They have to walk everywhere with a bottle of water - "Oooh I might need to quench; Arghhh, I'm a likkle bit fursty; Uh oh, is my skin puckering; I'm going to have a little sip now, actually I'll have two" - and so they go on, comforting and rewarding themselves on every step of their miserable daily journeys, congratulating themselves that they will not die of thirst today. Soppy fuckers! There was a time when Lucozade was a drink for the infirm, how it got onto hospital bedside tables without ever being seen in public was a complete mystery - I think it was an 'under the counter' article from the chemist's, only available on special request. You'd see it on the bedside tables of the sick and broken any time you visited a friend or relation on a ward. It would just sit there, loathsome in its weird crinkly orange cellophane, no one ever drank it and having associated it with the smell of death and urine, I can't understand how it has become socially acceptable to swig it in public when there's nothing wrong with you, especially as the marketing men haven't yet managed to stop it looking like piss. Pfssssss, a tiny weeny sip of Coke and screw the top back on very tight, 20 seconds later, pfsssss another weeny little sip, screw the top back on tightly, 20....pfssss - Oh how I want to ram that bottle in your ear you nasty cretin!
When you flash someone out at a junction and they dont give you a thankyou wave ......................." feckin fekkers wish i hadnt bothered now arrrghh " Taxi drivers pulled up on the wrong side of the road facing the wrong way with there headlights on so you carnt see the road ................. fekkin feckers !!!! Pensioners doddering about in front of me in a shop ............... " just buy the thing for fecks sake !!"
classified ads which say "no timewasters" Presumably, if you don't buy the thing after viewing it, you're a timewaster
For Sale ads in the local supermarkets. The spellings atroshus. Saw one the other day, someone selling a "Faux" fur coat. Can't even spell "Fox" Thick F*****s!
Oh yes and cyclists who don't pay road tax and then insist on riding two a breast on narrow country lanes. Think most of them are Lycra fetishists.(Leather's far superior) :wink:
Pedestrians who cross the road on a zebra crossing who don't even acknowledge you if you have stopped for them. I assume they feel that it wasn't out of the goodness of your heart, but that you are legally required to do so, like stopping at a red light. I suppose they are not wrong. But at the same time, it's just good manners to give a little wave, a nod or a smile. It doesn't cost anything. Similarly people who waft past you when you hold the door open for them, as if you're a professional door opener, without the slightest acknowledgement. You just stand there feeling belittled. It's petty things like these which erode manners so that people end up not having any.
"Thank you for allowing me to hold the door for you" usually elicits an embarrassed apology for their rudeness, the challenge is then not to lose the moral high ground, if only you can stifle a loud and aggressive, "FUCK OFF"
Plus another for women drivers :biggrin: Sorry in advance to all women drivers who may be offended by what gets posted from here on ....
Bike riders who think they are John mcguiness , guy Martin etc etc; and who actually can't ride for a feckin toffee so it's max revs max noise everywhere with feck all skill, first gear through villages screaming the tits of the bike. Fellas your fuckin embarrassing . And yes I live in the country and I could happy knock you off your obvious penis extensions. I moved recently because of said twats on the Melton road. Wankers. Of course a nice 900ss with open pipes being nailed on the same road by a rider who knows the road intimately is obviously different ahem.
