Sayings that make me laugh

Fanny like a ripped out fireplace?

Dropping an anchor in poo-harbour,

Chopping bum-wood,

Strangling an otter,

I can smell cum, which one of you fags has farted,

I could co on all night but just remembered how old I am...

 

throats as dry as a buzzards crutch

 

She looks like a busted settee
She wouldn't stop a pig in an alley

or

He looks like a busted settee
He wouldn't stop a pig in an alley

It is Christmas.

 

For someone who has sticky out teeth

"Could eat an apple through a letterbox"

 

I was sweating like a rapist.

 

Teeth like a row of sugar puffs
she works for the council
man batter
trouser sick

 

Ya off ya heid...!!! west cosat of Scotland
Ya bampot..!!!

 

Left her with a face like a plasterer's radio...

 

what a shit thread
I'm off to flick one over the thumb.

 

Throats like Ghandis sandal
Dropping the kids off at the pool
She's had enough prick to make a handrail round Leeds

 

I'd crawl a mile on my hands and knees to stick matchsticks in her shit
Fart and give us a clue love
Throw some Andrews at it and see where it fizzes

 

Bloody hell, you can tell its winter.

 

More nipples..?

 

That is the difference between the speed of light and the speed of sound .....some people appear bright until they open their mouths.

Slack jaw and not much to say

[FONT=&quot]Little dogs make the most noise.[/FONT]

 

You can't teach pork.

(said in a geordie accent)

 

Subtle? That was about as subtle as ten ton of pig shit dropping through a sky-light.

 

I would rather cleave my tongue to the roof of my mouth than read any more of this crap

 

He's sixpence short of a ten bob note.
I'm a bit 2 and 8 today.
Bungalow bonce. 'Means a bit thick,nothing upstairs'

 

There's more ways to fcuk a cat than just lifting its tail