I would rather my children respected me not be frightened of me. In the world we live in today you need to be approachable to your children.
The association of pain and fear with a specific behavior is exactly why smacking can sometimes be appropriate. It's like Pavlov's dogs; the bell means food. In this case it's 'trying to put my little brother in the washing machine means a sore arse.' It can also help strengthen the meaning of the word 'No'. By showing your child what happens if behavior persists after being told to stop will mean that in the future the threat of a smack on the bum can be as effective as the smack itself. Obviously there must be careful application of force, there is no excuse for beating your child and leaving bruises and broken bones. You must also bear in mind that the human body reacts to physical stimulus with increased blood flow so any amount of force will leave a red mark. If I scratch an itch after having a hot shower I will be covered in red lines for 10 minutes, but they soon fade. There is a difference between leaving a mark and injuring.
so maybe it would have been better to let your son bite and get away with it, and never punish him ,so in future he will do what he likes with out worring about the implications, my brother in law has that same soft touch with his 3boys and they are like a pack wild dogs , they are not welcome around my house as they do not know how to behave as they do just what they like and they also do not belive in telling them off as they are free spirits im sick to death of this mamby pamby way of thinking , this is why we have gangs of yobs with no respect for for anybody
well I think anyone who smacks a 14 month old minor has issues. personally i think it comes down to what has happened. their track record and severity of what they have done. there comes a time where if little johnny whos 15 keeps nicking the neighbours car or cleaning the corner shop out without paying then maybe a tactical wallop may give encouragement not to do it again.
im not saying you should smack babies!! my mum gave up smacking me when she found it was not having any more affect , so my punishment was no TV for a week that hurt more
But that's just poor parenting, I can't see how smacking the children is going to improve the situation I think we are becoming confused between parenting and punishment, we are both fairly strict parents and we have firm rules for our children, of course there are consequences and punishments, I just don't feel it appropriate to smack my children, I don't believe this makes me namby pamby or a weak parent.
Simple really. You cannot reason with a young child/toddler, they are learning the world and what happens when...personally I'd rather give my lad a tag on the backside or hand when he tries to run across a road when he's been told NO than see him splattered over the front of a ford escort. Its the ultimate 'thats the limit' after that, it becomes the threat of is enough. Then when they area. Bit older its less and less as you can reason with them
I'm all for smacking,its the bottom line...... Ouch and please don't fill a CAS 120 on me for this tastless jape.
Yep, pretty much this. Ella our eldest at 9 doesn't require any where near a smack these days, the 3 times throughout her life to date have driven it home that the implication of a smack is good enough. That's not to say she gets threatened, she's just a kid but respects our view immediately and has done for years. As bradders has said reasoning with a toddler / young kid is frankly idealistic rubbish, they don't and won't understand how dangerous things can be. Anyway, it's all about how you want to parent If you don't wanna smack your kids arse that's great, no dramas. After all its your kid Equally if you BEAT your child then personally I want nothing to do with you. As long as my kids are safe and not put in harm's way due to either parenting style I'm happy, it's when they are we'd have a chat.
I had quite a few slaps as a young un. The only influence it had on me was to make sure I never raised a hand to my own kids and I never did.
