I don't think making you eat stuff you don't like counts as abuse! Unless they were trying to poison you of course. I was virtually force-fed sprouts and cabbage, which I still hate to this day, but you've got to accept that money was probably tight and you were fed that because it's what they could afford. I got into many arguments over sprouts, but I can't say it ruined my life.
No it's not ruined my life either but I can recall the times vividly. While it might not be severe , by definition it's still a form of abuse.
Well it serves to show that smacking isn't the ritual abuse some people think it is, when you can recall arguments about food more readily than when you got your arse spanked...
My father was a terrible parent and threw out smacking and physical abuse with impunity. I spent time cowering in fear from someone who was supposed to be caring for me. I haven't seen him for many years and hope our paths never cross again. When I grew big enough to let him know if he hit me he'd get it back then things changed and the relationship broke. I now don't even know if he is alive. By contrast I'm (hopefully) balanced with my own children and have never used any physical chastisement as I know full well the consequences. I could never justify physical abuse in any parenting regime and I'd advise those who do that the long term consequences can be the loss of a parent/child relationship.
There is a huge difference between a couple of slaps on the bum and physical violence. Children, especially small children simply don't have the cognitive capacity of (most) adults, so punishment needs to be simple and easy to understand. When appropriate a smack can be extremely effective, especially when it's a penalty for a behaviour that could be potentially dangerous or fatal, such as crossing the road without looking. The child will fear the smack from running into the road, as its a relatable experience. The child won't however link the same fear to being told they can be killed, it will simply not be as effective. Corporal punishment does need to be used selectively though, otherwise it looses any meaning and effectiveness. People get wrapped up thinking children are miniature adults (witness five year olds wearing makeup and competing in beauty pageants) but they are not, they are children. The ability to understand consequence of actions is learned over time, and at 4 or 5 years old, reasoning and explanation will only have limited effect. People need to get back to reality.
Or lick the toad, a snack on the bum prevents it at a young age... It doesn't however protect you from an auto correct fail.........
Sounds like my story. It's a very short sighted fool who is cruel to his/her kids. I don't have any of my own, never wanted any, maybe this is why.
Why? There is nothing wrong with this post. Yes the topic is divisive, but that's the point of a discussion
I meant the individual post that I wrote, that said 'please delete this post' Once I had posted it, i couldn't get rid of it. But it wasn't funny and didn't contribute to the thread. I didn't mean the thread itself.
:tongue: You can still edit the post thou, just go in and remove all the text :smile:....which is exactly what you did by the looks of things :biggrin:
I remember getting the cane at school once. Shure the headmaster got some sort of thrill out of it, he used to keep a selection of canes in a cupboard and would swish the air with a random selection before choosing one. And I found the weirdest part was he would take a run up to deliver the blow. Very creepy man.
I used to get a time limit set by mothers best mate . She was a generously proportioned, rotund kind of girl and if I hadn,t finished in the same time as her she would smear mustard all over my food. Even today if I catch a whiff of mustard I gag.
A "slap" never done anyone any harm, as long as the parent dont loose the head. Whats worse is ppl parading their kids on those "pagent" reality shows like you see on tv....thats sick imo. Even the sight if it is ill..(rant over).
My 3 years old niece is turning in to a right little madamme with zero manners!. Her Mum wont chastise her and lets her do what ever she wants. Just makes us not like her which is not a nice feeling. If I behaved or spoke to people like that I would have been smacked from here to next week. Oh and I have had my fair share of smacks as a child and it made me scared to misbehave knowing that Mothers stingers would be coming. I dont have kids but if I did they would be treated the way I was treated as it never did me any harm
In my view its all about sanctions or the threat of sanctions. My dad was a disciplinarian strict and loving at the same time. I was smacked on two occasions and I can distinctly remember what for. First was for biting a neighbours kid over a toy, the second was for breaking a dinner plate (containing the Sunday dinner) over my sisters head because according to me she was being obnoxious. in the red corner there was my mom who was just as strict, never employing the "wait till your father gets home" line. Its not fair on the dad who has had a shitty day to get home to be faced with sanctioning or disciplining a child for an incident that could have happened over 8 hours previous. That however is all by the by. Im sure we have all seen those parents in supermarkets telling their kids don't to this, don't do that. They use the phrase so many times its ineffectual and it means nothing to the kids. On the same note if smacking is used with such regularity it becomes the norm, it too becomes ineffectual and indeed crosses the line to child abuse. A well timed smack can be very effective in the right circumstances and certainly should never be done in temper. Kids should be safe in the knowledge about what could happen if they cross the line!
I got smacked occasionally as a child. As a result I now suffer from a psychological condition known as 'Respect for others'. I was never beaten though and a smack was always deserved..... I knew it was coming and why.
