I had a colonoscopy this morning. if anyone ever has to receive this rather unpleasant procedure and the surgeon suggests you use entonox gas instead of sedation, punch him , i felt I had been fingered by an elephant , a young elephant though . the only pleasant part of this unfortunate experience ( except the fact im ok ) was the rather pleasant nurse who helped me through it ( as the elephant fingered my ass ). its of a little consolation though that the surgeon had a worse view than I. so if you have to have this inflicted on you....drink your moviprep and DO NOT move far from a toilet.( one rather embarrassed young lady didn't drink hers at the correct time as she managed to shit over herself,her bed,the ward floor, and the toilets. ) (made me laugh ) keep your toilet roll in the fridge.( very very important ) buy lots of toilet roll. have a very understanding wife with a sense of humour ( for when you run past on the way to the toilet singing ring of fire ) beware watery farts. and revel in the fact your not gay and don't have to have your ass reamed out on a regular basis. ( in fact iv removed being gay from my bucket list for two reasons . one it would hurt, two I don't find men sexually attractive.) lastly if your doctor tell you that you require this procedure then please.... don't die of embarrassment.
Yep, had it done twice, ain't so bad - you wait til they poke the same camera down your jap's eye! That hurts like hell:frown: For those of you who've never had the pleasure, you need to have a full 'evacuation' before a colonoscopy, and that's the worst part of the whole procedure. Please read this passage in full, and try not to weep...
When I had mine done,the air con in the in the room they were using was f**cked and they had to bury me under a load of blankets to stop me freezing to death. The paperwork I was given to read before the procedure said that I would be knocked out, in reality,I was given something that relaxed all my muscles and left me unable to move and looking at the bloody monitor that the bloke driving the camera was using to do the job. They pump air into your bowel to make it easier to move the camera around without punching holes in you and the feeling of this thing moving inside you is not nice. If you have this procedure done make sure you have a nice cup of tea afterwards as it helps to shift the air out of your gut and ease the discomfort.
Had that with the sedation, unfortunately you feel very little until it wears off and then I had stomach cramps that doubled me up for 3 hours after, thanks for reminding me I have it again in August. Steve
I had both done on the same visit. You know it's going to be sore as feck when the doctor says "this is going to be a tad uncomfortable !!" All the while the three nurses in the room are talking about a hen party they are going to and who was picking who up in a taxi.
When I had the camera down the jap's eye, the doctor said, "I won't lie to you, this is gonna hurt". Oh joy:frown: Prior to the procedure the nurse said she was going to grab my old chap and rub some pain relieving gel on it. "I'm prepared for any eventuality!" she said, showing me a huge needle...She needn't have worried, she was the ugliest woman I have ever seen
By the way, I've also had a camera down the throat and up the nose. As far as I can tell it's the same camera each time. I sincerely hope they wash it in between procedures...
Hmm, Now I'm worried. I'm new to Ducati......is all of the above related to prolonged Ducati ownership ?
Yes, I'm afraid it is. But fear not, the procedures are not as bad as they sound. First you will see a general practitioner who will make a basic assessment. Again, this is nothing to worry about, he will generally place one hand reassuringly on your shoulder while he probes your prostate gland with the other. If, however, you feel two hands on your shoulders I would advise you take a second opinion asap...
Had both, but the endoscopy down the throat was by far and away the worst. Imagine sticking a hose-pipe down to your stomach and trying not to gag - it hurt more than man utd beating Swansea yesterday
