Who said the Torygraph was full of crap ?

I think you will find it is spelled Gruniad !

 

Alternatively, simply push the cork down into the bottle with your thumb and/or the handle of any knife, fork, or spoon. Hold the cork down out of the way while you pour the wine. No risk of shattering the bottle, and no shaking up the wine required.

 

At Dukesox Towers we drink probably 3 or 4 bottles of wine a week, it is getting to be quite a a rarity to have a bottle with a cork these days. Shame, I enjoy the process the old fashioned way (not a euphemism ) bit like tickling the carbs on a bevel (also not a euphemism)

 

Old Scottish wino's trick... Ironically I had to do just that recently when the top half of a cork came off leaving the bottom half too low to get a corkscrew into... Not saying where I learnt the trick though...

 

And surely Gruniard readers have staff to open their wine for them ?

 

I applaud your marvellous discovery of products for sale that are spelled similarly to the Gurnaid newspaper but I am intrigued by the process that took you there ? Do you buy yours from Australia or were you checking the tennis scores or what ?

 

Indeed, but being of the left wing persuasion they would see it as lifting those poor chaps from the 3rd world out of poverty as opposed to employing a cleaner/butler/au pair etc. Positively an act of charity !

 

Or just make sure you buy a screw top bottle :wink:

 

Does that mean I have been incorrectly typing the incorrect typing all along ? Boilox !

 

Only if you incorrectly spell it correctly.

 

or you could man up and drink whiskey, most don't have a cork.

 

Where do you prefer to stick yours then? No, don't tell us, it was a rhetorical question.

 

Although most of the time they don't need help because Champagne corks come out more easily.

The telegraph does have a motorcycle section of sorts too, not sure if the Guardian does:

Motorbikes - Motorcycles - News and reviews, latest releases, new models - Telegraph