Things no-one told you about when you became a biker

I became a biker for real about 38 years ago, but I was a biker in my mind from age about 10. Anyway I was never told I'd spend the first years in mens clothes that never reAlly fitted. That I'd ignore helmet hair, that I'd be accosted by many women pensioners that would then tell me about when they rode in the war delivering signals and the like, that I'd never get used to the double take when it was clocked I am female, now I get the double double take as I'm female and old and on a 749!!

 

Who does your motorcycle like?

 

Oh and that your Mum will alway think you sold your bike years ago even if you turn up on it, I don't even bother to mention there is more than one.

 

That the perfect number of bikes is always = n+1, where n= the number you already have

That all bikes are a "work in progress" in terms of what you are going to do next

That you will never have enough garage space

That it is hard to listen to long conversations about other (boring) things without drifting off into thinking about bikes again, and getting in trouble as a consequence

That you will spend more time in the garage than the house you spent half a lifetimes income buying and decorating

That no-one who doesn't ride will regard surgery as an entirely "routine" or "commonplace" amongst their mates

That it never gets old.

 

...spanners slip,knuckles grate...

 

aint that the truth

 

That there is more than one type of bike. Get off the type you are used to and give others a go.

 

I've been saying that for years Nobbi. Bit wasted on a Ducati forum methinks.

 

That you'll attend funerals of good mates , be thankful it wasn't you and carry on riding

 

In your full bike gear stood next to your pride and joy you look cool. Anything further than 10 yards away from your bike you look a knob!

 

That you could control the weather, bringing instant rain to parched lands simply by putting on leathers to ride your bike or wheeling it out of the garage. Sometimes you actually have to do a few miles, sometimes you only need the intention to go out riding, but the result is the same. Magic.

 

being cold and wet in the crotch region is not fun.
the accelleration when you first welly whatever bike you have just aqcuired stays with you.
no matter how fast you think you are, there is someone faster.
bees make a very loud *splat* when they hit your helmet

(if this link works, it's all true)
http://fredgassit.tripod.com/fred014.gif

 

Absent mindedly spinning the back wheel while fitting a new chain on your enduro bike MAY result in an eyewatering finger-trapped- between-chain-and sprocket moment,made worse by the following:
(1) you have to roll the fucker back the other way to get your digit out
(2) you are surrounded by your so-called mates,in the pits,at the most over-subscribed event that particular year...

 

That if you went on the back of a Ducati 1098 for your 1st ride on a superbike, you would own a Ducati a month later!!!

 

That when you reach a certain age looking at bike porn can be more interesting than .....................porn.:smile:

 

Anybody and I do mean anybody who has been or continues to go pillion on a 1098 has my utmost respect....and I thought I was f-ing crazy :tongue:

 

There is of course the fact that when I became a biker, nobody would tell me the cost of owning and running one would rise by 3,00000%

 

That one bike is never enough.

 

Speak fer yerself, grandad...

That you mum will never, ever, get used to the idea of you riding a bike, no matter how old you are.