Got completely trashed at a company Christmas do. Arrived just before midday for "drinks" (on an empty stomach in anticipation of our five course lunch) - my mate and I consumed so much champagne - as soon as you finished a glass a waitress filled it again and again. This went on for an hour or more until we sat down for our food; this took ages to arrive so by then we'd finished all of the wine on our table, and went in search of more before our nouvelle cuisine food arrived, certainly not enough to soak up the alcohol. Don't remember much more until 10pm - in the meantime I'd fallen face first into a table of mince pies, puked over my boss and been put in a wheelchair to be taken to a taxi. The driver (apparently) had to be bribed with a huge amount of cash to drive me home (20 miles) and I just about remember staggering across the lawn - where I fell over a huge pile of paving blocks I'd left on the path. I couldn't get onto all fours, let alone stand up so I went to sleep in the front border amongst the shrubs. Woke up feeling very cold and tried to crawl to the front door - then tried to get the key in! My wife thought that there was a burglar outside and opened the door poker in hand ready to beat the c..p out of him to be confronted by me - she made me leave every stitch of clothing outside and then submerged me in a hot bath. I was a bit poorly for a couple of days!
Many, countless disgusting and stupid stories, but the less disgusting story... I have a scar down my side after I fell off the roof of a car... It was a rental so it's all good. A friend of mine had a rental car, she said she might as well go and rag the shit out of it. It was new years, I don't think she was drinking. Anyway, a bunch of us crammed into this car, I wanted a smoke, so my mates said "get on the roof and smoke". Ok... About 2 mins into it, clinging on for dear life and smoking. I noticed I was holding on wrong and if she were to take a violent left turn, I would fly off. In that moment, she took a left turn. Basically, I was laid across the car, not length ways. So my hands were holding on the driver side and my feet hanging over the passenger. I rolled and rolled, bouncing and hitting all sorts. I was so winded and hurt that no amount of alcohol numbed the pain. I saw everyone get out of the car and slowly make their way to me, in stitches, laughing uncontrollably. When I managed to catch my breathe, I asked what was so funny. The entire time they said my arm was like an illusion, some how I managed to keep my fag intact and out of harms way whilst tumbling along the road. Got back to the uni house and I was tending to my wounds. My mate, also very drunk, thought it would be wise to call my mum and inform her of my incredible victory. "Ummmm, Agnes, don't worry, he isn't dead, just bruised. It was spectacular" lol... Not my brightest moment.
Went on a boys holiday to Benidorm in 1986 and had been drinking solid all week, we ended up one night in a disco and i needed a drink of water so went to the toilet and ripped the sink off the wall had a drink from the water pipe then went back for a boogie on the dance floor :redface:
Bought some cheap vodka Police seize chloroform vodka on Merseyside - Liverpool Echo Then found out it contained Chlorofo........
Yes, it was a bit of a blunder - however the founder and Technical Director thought it was hilarious, it was him who paid for the taxi! He was fine about it and would not accept my offer to reimburse him - "that's what a Christmas party is for - the company will pay the bill" Best of all was the piss taking and new nickname for me due to the wheelchair incident ......"Ironside!!" - it still gets talked about four years later.
