The mother in law said we should try to get on, and we should try to speak the same language. I replied, "MOOO!!"
A golfer set up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through. Taking out his 3-wood, he took another mighty swing; the ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him. As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter saw him coming and asked, “Are you a good golfer?” to which the man replied, “Got here in two, didn’t I?”
Delegates from around the political world gathered for a meeting, proceedings were going well when at a break an Arab delegate stepped up to an American to express how much he loved American TV. " I love your tv, we have nothing like this at home" he said," especially your fantastic Star Trek". " But I have noticed you have a Russian actor, American, Scottish and even a Vulcan but no Arabs, why is this"? Ahh replied the American "that's because it's set in the future"!
Felt sorry for Julio Cesar in the match against Germany. The last time a Brazilian faced that many shots he was jumping barriers at Stockwell tube station.
Q. What's the difference between the Brazilian football team & Oscar Pistorius? A. Pistorius has a better defence & he got more shots on target.
