Does anyone have any REAL experience of FULL recovery from post traumatic stress disorder / depressive illness after a major life/death bike incident (or similar trauma)? I am a member of the site, but created this id purely for a bit of privacy. Without going into to much detail... I have been treated for a number of years by private clinical psychiatrist and psychologist, but underlying symptoms have never changed. I just have a lot more education and understanding about my illness. I'm still alive, I still work, I still ride, Bottom line is however... that I just don't feel the same person as I was before the accident (along with other symptoms that id rather not discuss.) I really haven't created this thread for any sympathy or messages of support, so please don't bombard this thread in that way or hijack thread with off topic comments, but I would really be interested if anyone has actually beaten the PTSD/Depressive illness and returned to their pre accident mental state?
IME, you don't "beat" it, you just learn how to deal with it. It's a complicated beast and it works out different ways to come and get you. So you try to adapt and adjust as the new facets appear.
Have been on a variety of anti-depressents, and in the darkest depths I'm certain they have helped me despite the 'negative and often ill informed publicity' they get from the general public. However longer term now and after many switches of doses & meds & no real change. I am tempted to go cold turkey and wean myself off them just to see what its actually like without them!
Personally, AD's were/are a short term sticking plaster to take the edge off things and help you along while you try to figure out your own answer. It sounds like it's the right time for you to find that answer.
Viagra can help with your other symptoms. What are the issues that you can talk about, rather than not feeling the same person?
You'll never be who you were ever again. I will never be who I was last week. Life is a process of constant change and you must accept that what is gone is gone and find value in the now. You are the source of your own salvation; the problems are not external to you. You will get better if you can process what has happened to you and accept the reality. I for on,e will be supremely glad to listen to anything you want to talk about and give you an impartial ear.
I would question my treatment as the A/D's as stated above are a short term answer, alas they are over used as a coping mechanism by doctors? Have you done cognitive behavioral therapy (counselling) which is often used by the health service but is not suitable for everyone. Maybe a change to psycho-dynamic therapy may be of more a help to you, which is something you should bring up with your psychologist. For any treatment to work you've got to want it too, and help change your thought process'. Psychological treatments are never straight forward and any one treatment doesn't always work for everyone and often a mixture of treatments is needed. At the end of the day you're never going to be the same as before BUT you can learn from it and find a way to cope.
Perhaps this is a bit harsh, but firstly I agree with pingping01010 entirely. But I'm sorry to say I do not understand PTSD (although I accept I don't know what caused it to the OP). I have known people throw themselves off high buildings and bridges for much less than I have experienced. I would rather not go into detail of my experiences here. Needless to say that I have had four instances of illnesses over the years which should have killed me in most circumstances. Plus serious financial; serious marital and family death issues. In the end, I just get on with life and think "What the hell" until the next crisis appears on the horizon (I can see one coming at the moment, in fact). Good luck to the OP if he can adopt the same attitude IMO.
After having a big off on a bike and with serious implications. Being given the chance to carry on living, while other people I have known have theirs cut too short, is a "gift" that I am thankful for every day and live it to the best that I can. I am not the same after last years experience, or last weeks, or indeed yesterday. Life is a fluid thing that we must adapt to live it. Sure there are things that come to challenge us in life, whatever they may be, however, nothing is easy but we have to just get on with it. Why should it get you down? You are in a position many others would gladly be in.
I think it's safe to say that depression isn't understood by those who haven't experienced it or, to a lesser extent, who haven't been tutored on it's manifestation and effects. A bullet point explanation should include prominently "Depression does not equal Sadness". It isn't "feeling bummed" and it isn't "feeling upset". It is a flattening of emotions to the point where there really is no joy in your life, or such joy is fleetingly short-lived and easily lost. There is no "Answer" to chronic depression. There is only a series of small adjustments to lifestyle and to thought-processes, the forming of healthy habits that all together will hopefully make depression manageable. Exercise plays a surprisingly important role in successfully managing chronic depression. A major problem with chronic depression is, yes, there are tools and methods for dealing with it but - why bother? What's the point in "feeling better"? The chronically depressed person doesn't fight their condition because they see no outcome that makes any effort worthwhile. It is important to fight against that type of thinking and not allow it to dictate.
That feeling that you are somehow 'not the person you were' should definitely be addressed: whilst Ping is kind-of right that we all change continually through our daily experiences, we also very much need to feel a strong sense of identity and a continuum throughout our lives, irrespective of daily events - it's what most people call 'feeling settled' or 'at ease'. A good psychiatrist should help you understand and address exactly why you feel that way, as it's so fundamental to our mental well-being. As Fig suggests, if you've made no progress with this in particular I would find another counsellor - they're all different and you need to find someone who's approach works for you?
I really feel for you I suffered flash backs for 3 months and still occasionally do now after my accident on my bike I felt in a very dark place I couldn't eat and didn't want to sleep because each time I closed my eyes I could see hear and feel every second I remember every detail of that day Even walking upstairs it would flash back to that moment I talked about it every opportunity I could to whoever would listen I was sooooo glad I was alive I could have hit the lorry on the other side The bus managed to stop inches away from me I talk about it now but always end saying well I'm still alive I could have died I have spent a bit of time googling since reading this thread just to try and learn a bit more I do feel that people who have experience PTSD are the best councillors/therapist as they have been there done it You can read all the books and courses but real life experience is priceless A bit like treating an addict when you don't have the addiction yourself, how can you understand if you have never say been a drinker Have you had cognitive therapy
After my off back in 99 it took nearly three months to learn to walk again without crutches and probably a year before I could swing a leg over a bike. I dwelt on it, not because I wanted to but because I had no choice but to. There were times it would hit me like a brick in the head, paralysing me into inactivity and there were days less so. There wasn't a pattern. I as you probably do dealt with it on a case by case basis, and over time the gaps became longer and from several times a day it became several times a week then months then every few months. Now I ride, I never despite it all ever wanted to not ride, my concession was telling other half that she or indeed would never be a pillion on a bike piloted by me. It took me a long time to trust lean angles again, and even now I doubt my capability- recently I didn't even realise the head bearing had gone, thinking it was my nerves that caused me to have such a lack of confidence. In fact I was contemplating the California super bike school next year as they have that bike with stabilisers- I still think that I need a crutch and someone to tell me that I can still ride. In myself I am not the same person as I was but I suppose for me it was understanding and being aware of that and understanding why it was that way. In that way moving forward was possible, and more importantly understanding what it took. Digressing, I work with a bloke who has become a good friend of mine. He was a frontline soldier in afghan and has probably the greatest mental fortitude I have ever seen in a man. Yet I see his concentration and self control as his knuckles turn white and he starts to tense whenever someone nearby start typing loudly and erratically, then slamming the odd return key. He's learnt to cope with it his own way, and when he feels he's about to blow he walks away. I like all of us would love to turn around and say "do this and it'll stop..." But there isn't a simple answer for this. I suppose for me it was a bit like the end of the film - a beautiful mind, he realises they aren't real,it doesn't stop him seeing them but he knows how to cope despite the characters that exist only in his head. Which probably doesn't really give you any answers, but I don't think there are any black and white ones. Not really.
Mental Health is sadly criminally under supported by the health services, in comparison to the physical. Ive lived with somebody who has had massive anxiety issues and its hard, really hard. You just want to help, but don't know how and that's horrible. All you can do is be there all the time and take the rough with the smooth. Its a very brave thing to do to open yourself up on a public forum and for that, you have automatically gained my respect. As mentioned, you'll never be the same, but IMO that's what life's about. We'll never be the same person we were when we were in our mid twenties, and for that I'm glad. In the last ten-twenty years, I've become a much wiser and stronger man than I was back then, but as other have alluded to, you never recover, you just learn to deal with things in the best way possible. Following my massive road crash back in 2011, I get very anxious is certain road situations, mainly those that I cant control. Thankfully, this has been my only side affect as the body is healed (well as best as it could be) If you need somebody to speak to away from the forum, drop me a line, even if its just to speak to somebody. Matt
th haven't felt my self since i was 18. i have thought about contributing to this thread on and off but didnt want to talk about me as it's not about me. because ultimately i am an optimist and i tell myself this every day. (i need to). but will save that for another day. i have been involved in three big accidents since i took to riding/driving on the road. 17 knocked an old man over on my bike 30 a passenger in a car that knocked an old man over and shortly after wrote my car car off on the duel carriageway, none of these accidents left me with serious injury. but within a week or two of the last incident driving down from aberdoom i took a panic attack on the motorway and had to pull over on to the hard shoulder and for a long time even the thought of going on a motorway would set me off. fine in the car now but still cant do duel carriageway or motorway on the bike, in fact i took another one last week just on a long straight going to sterling on the bike?. so yes it is very real and debilitating when the mind takes over but i do believe it can be beaten. depression can be a right downer.
CBT seems to work very well, and as said imho its not as much 'to cure' as there is nothing to cure. Its about coping mechanisms. Some have them naturally, some very much don't and need to develop them until they become automatic, the same as you don't look at the gear lever when changing gear in a car after you've done it enough NLP is another useful tool for creating quick coping mechanisms to reduce instant feeling triggers going off
