In a case of life imitating humour, the Office of Government Commerce, the OGC, came up with this logo in 2008: If you rotate the image 90 deg clockwise, you might see what the issue was. True story
A man robs a bank wearing a balaclava 'Did you see my face?' he says to the teller. 'Just a little bit.' Bang. He shoots her. 'Did you see my face' he says to another teller. 'Only briefly' he says. Bang. He shoots him. He turns to a Jewish man who is standing beside him. 'Did you see my face?' he says 'No. I didn't,' says the Jewish man 'But my wife, she saw your face.' -
A man goes to the doctors, and tells him that his cock has become all yellow. The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and pants for examination. After a while the doctor asks the man to get dressed again and take a seat. The doctor asks "So Mr Jones, can you tell me exactly how you spend your average day?" "Thats easy" say the man "I spend my days watching porn and eating whatsits!"
Q: Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal? A: His goal: transcend dental medication.
Q. How many government ministers does it take to change a light bulb? A. Nobody knows. First they have to decide which way to spin it.
A young lad went to buy some condoms from the chemist. The girl behind the counter said, "That will be £9.50 plus tax." The horrified lad exclaimed, "I thought they'd stay on by themselves!"
This referendum lark is a lot like Christmas: A massive build up, crap speeches on TV & pissed people making a scene.
The other day my wife was standing naked in front of our living room windows. I asked her to draw the curtains, she said why? I said because I don't want the neighbours to know that I married you for your money!
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spending all his wages. When he finally got home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife After two hours, she stopped nagging and said: 'How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?' He replied: 'That would be fine with me.' Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Thursday, the swelling went down just enough for him to see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
My wife and I indulge in role play every evening: She tells me about her day and I pretend to listen...
He may as well go to Skye - they might listen to him. When even his own constituency didn't vote his way it's time for him to go... Ohhhhh... Breaking news... He's taken the hint !
I think he had to step down due to his former title as Scotland's First minister; being LAST doesn't quite have the same ring to to it!
