A/D's get loads of bad press, but I can honestly say they kept me alive... I Had absolutely no mental health issues until about 9 months after my complete physical recovery, then BOOM! To everyone else I appeared completely normal, but inside my head I was no longer me - if I did non have the support around me from family & medical I am pretty certain I would not be typing this now. I have had cognitive behavioural therapy & psycho-dynamic therapy, and although I understand the illness the symptoms still remain unchanged. Learning & coping is my life now.
I have no experience of this but I wish you all the best anyhow. I still cant shake the image of a torso I saw of someone who threw themselves under a train at Thornton Heath. Even after 10yrs. God knows what it must be like to experience things like this first hand. Good luck.
I can assure you 100% you do not understand PTSD. (This is not aimed at you personally - it is only stated in such harsh terms to try to give a bit of a message to anyone that reads this thread that has not experienced it, how debilitating it actually can be. To be honest your 'get on with life & what the hell attitude sounds a very similar to attitude to mine' I would imagine you and me would get on very well, but PTSD is not about attitude. I am very pleased for you and you are lucky to have the attitude after the serious things your life has thrown at you - I am glad you still feel yourself. I can however NOW empathise (I've deliberately not used the word not understand) with 'successful people/the quiet family next door/ the perfect couple etc...' who you read about in the press that have thrown' themselves off high buildings and bridges etc...' while appearing to have a lifestyle that others wound wish for themselves. Despite my original post seeming perhaps hopeless or not taking the positives out of what could have been... that was not the intention, it was honestly just to see if anyone had actually completely returned to the pre mental illness state after suffering from PTSD or a depressive illness. I from all outward appearances would seem normal, successful & 'well.' I often think about if I had the 'choice' of surviving the original incident and living the rest of my life feeling the way I do now, or not surviving the original incident what choice I would make.
The thought of those I would have left behind, having to deal with the aftermath was/is a very strong barrier.
NHS literally brought me back & put me back together, I cant speak positively enough of how great the doctors nurses etc were despite the obvious cutbacks. I was lucky in that I had private health provision by the time the mental illness kicked in - The gulf between the private mental health care I receive and the NHS mental health provision offer is greater than my track day times compared to Troy Bayliss's!
I'm not sure if we are the ones to ask. Each case is different and I for one can hardly give advice to someone post-Afghanistan conflict. PTSD was initially recognised with Vietnam vet's and todays motorcyclists might think they've been through a lot... (disclaimer) I crashed at Darley Moor going thru the 'Esses' and for years was twitchy about the front sliding but in the end I dispelled it by not going so fucking fast into a corner and using my fat arse to block other riders until I was out of said corner. Lesson - don't be bullied. I personally think that 'depression' is a misnomer, it is only a reaction to our environment. If, for instance, there was a bizarre law that we had to keep a wild jaguar in the home, whereby we might be attacked at any time, people would show signs of severe depression. If someone lives in a gang laden suburb and is at perpetual risk of assault, they will show signs of depression. If someone lives in a wonderful town with a wonderful house and lovely friends, yet is depressed I would argue that there is a physical threat to them within that environment and until they find out what it is, no amount of counseling or medicine will relieve it.
Theres an argument for some with 'pull yourself together' i.e. Look around and and reflect on the fact that you have a better life than probably 80% of the worlds population (if you are UK based citizen) Don't mean this in a horrible way, but sometimes I think we are keen to label everything so quickly, when actually a reality check and some hard words can be enough, and is most often missing when in counselling. Btw thats how I cope with loads of stuff, and like many have had the occasional tough time or two which has pushed me to the brink
Sorry to correct you on this, but it was diagnosed far earlier than that. PTSD was the name given to it by the Americans, but you might also know it as Shell shock. Both were derivatives of the particular manifestations of trauma suffered by combat soldiers. Also lets be clear that the OP has not mentioned any details of his particular life changing event. So to start, lets call it trauma, and rename the thread “anyone with real experience of trauma / depressive illness”. Also, he’s not asking for advice, he’s trying to understand if he’s alone in not really coming to terms with his trauma or if others have gone through the same thing in some way. Perhaps all he is saying is “is this normal to feel like this?” So what you did was analyse and rationalise then. But the environment was controlled, the only thing in question here was your talent or lack of it on that particular day. However it has affected you by your decision to not willingly go so fast into a corner. You control that situation by ‘blocking’ other riders. Its not about being bullied, if its a track day you’re not racing, there’s no prize to fight for. You can choose to ride at your own pace, not get caught up in a stampeding herd mentality. Why would they? That argument and it’s juxtaposition like the statement is poor and ill thought out. A gang member would also live under that threat and risk, yet they might never feel depressed. What if that person had just suffered a bereavement, say an elderly person had lost a spouse of fifty years and suddenly couldn’t cope? Where’s the physical threat? Yet in all three of the above cases you’ve cited, they can’t be depressed – after all they are merely reacting to their environment surely? So if ‘depression’ is wrongly named what and how do you define as depression? It’s not about what you have or haven’t been through. Depression as a clinical illness affects people in different ways. Symptoms can range from lasting feelings of sadness and hopelessness, to more subtle indicators like losing interest in the things you used to enjoy. There can be physical symptoms too, such as feeling constantly tired, sleeping badly, having no appetite or libido, and complaining of various aches and pains or anxiety. The severity of the symptoms can vary. At its mildest, you may simply feel persistently low in spirit, while at its most severe depression can make you feel suicidal and that life is no longer worth living. So, our OP, a bereaved spouse, a soldier on the front line, a bloke who wakes up one day and decides to let rip with a machine gun in a crowded shopping centre or school... The only thing that separates people like them from people like you or I is ONE BAD DAY. The severity might be different as might the symptoms of their trauma, or the way in which they cope but ultimately they were fine and everything was different before that one bad day. Spend a week as a carer in a mental health rehabilitation centre and see if its so clear cut. Its not all about shaking violently or crying and flailing uncontrollably, dribbling and rocking or shitting into your hands and clapping all day. Sometimes it can be something as simple as loneliness or not having anyone to talk to. As Bradders points out people can be precious about such things and a clip round the ear and a proper word is all that's needed but that's not always the case.
I know that Shell-Shock is 'early' version but thats not strictly accurate. Soldiers of WW1. Due to brain and spinal damage from nearby explosions, survivors had uncontrollable tremors and lack of motor control. Plenty of disturbing Youtube stuff on that. If I resort to the Interweb then I can see that sufferers of PTSD have been recommended to take up a sport with a high perceived danger ie. Ice Climbing. Its all there on Wiki, but if all thats wanting was a parrot-like repetition it would have been said. My comment about Darley Moor was from road racing, not a twinky trackday. Its very different. I have often heard such phrases as "No longer allowing the signs or presence of that creature in my life"* when describing the dealing with depression - so are they actually paraphrasing emotive psychology or refering to a physical manifestation? Go figure. *Not an exact quote
Nope PTSD was brought into public consciousness by the Vietnam conflict veterans who were the first to use it but in itself by definition is the psychological consequence of any traumatic event. So you were racing? And now you block other riders with your fat arse- your words, because what? Bullied? You don't come across as someone who would stand for that, therefore you perhaps just resent the fact you can't or won't dare to corner as fast or as hard as your peers? So what do you advocate? After all you are still affected by the trauma of your accident. There are others who in your situation might say I'm determined to not let it beat me and next time I'll prove to myself that I can hit that bend harder and faster- but that's not you obviously. After I came off got run over and had to have a full pelvic reconstruction I wish you'd have been there to tell me to just have a word with myself and stop being such a pussy. life would have been a lot easier. Now be a love and stop avoiding the question, how do you personally, not Wikipedia or the internerd define what is and isn't depression? All I've read above from others is experiences, whereas you have come in with some interesting viewpoints which you must be basing on some quite solid fact and hypothesis given your admirably staunch stance on the matter. Yes?
The name of my thread does not really matter, but my condition has been medically diagnosed & independently verified as PTSD & depressive illness. That is exactly what the thread was put up to find out. I agree 100% Very insightful.. and succinctly put Thank you for taking time to comment so thoughtfully Sev. Reading your comments and hearing from someone who obviously has 'some real kind of experience' (of dealing with similar whether personal or relative or other) was exactly the sort of thing I wanted to find out.
Which would be as much use as comparing your flu with someone suffering from Ebola and expecting that to improve your situation. Mental illness is an illness just as much as an infection is an illness and the sooner we all realise that the better for all the people suffering from it
works for some tho, and often if you 'cure' the issues then they have nothing left in their life, so don't war a 'cure'. What else will they talk about? How else will they get attention? Seen it often enough and clues picked up in the language people use when describing their issues...but for me this stuff is an interest and a hobby, not a job or anything just because something has a label, it doesn't make that label real life..ADHD anyone? But totally agree that mental illness is not as easy to diagnose and 'cure' as a purely physical illness best of luck fella or fellarette
if you want to witness depression take a pop up here this week. apologize for hijack just making light of a bleak situation. all the best.fin.
I know someone that was depressed. Frightening, in a very deep black hole and wanting to be covered over, gave a safe feeling. Cut this person off from existence. Caused by, normal life situations, built up over years and finally just hit. Anyway, this hole was a nice place to be, a selfish place, but no one was there to hurt this person. The last thing this person wanted was someone telling them that you are OK and everything will be fine and you need to deal with things. They said that they just gave up, they wanted to go. This wasn't seen as the easy option, it was that the pain was so intense, the mind was exploding, the guts were sore from anxiety, so, didn't get out of bed, didn't wash, didn't eat, didn't open the curtains, did leave the house, didn't want any contact. Just lay in the black hole, fearing the moment they wakened, that the same feeling would be there. They said that the overdose, being carried through the vomit while someone made them drink something that made them sick was interfering and not fair. Depression seems selfish to those not in your black hole, your not capable of thinking about others, your body can't take it. 2 people, one a friend and the other a councillor and a tablet from the doctor got them out the front door. 3 months of ridiculously painful anxiety eased. They said the worst part is a kind of fear of ever going back to the black hole. Learned to let it all out, not to bottle stuff up, talk about feelings, what's annoying and hurting. Councillors will have you in tears, they have a good way of letting you release what's bottled up. There is sometimes a stigma to depression, but the mind is a complicated bit of kit and unfortunately it can break. Fortunately, there are people that are more than willing to help. If a little medication is needed to help, so what.
I suspect there are many people who go to extraordinary lengths to conceal whatever mental issues they may have, for many years on end. Never mentioning, never discussing, never admitting - at work or socially. Then eventually it somehow gets dragged out, like a skeleton out of a cupboard, all embarrassing, inconvenient, and unwelcome but undeniable. The assertion that this kind of disclosure is only made to "get attention" might be a long way wide of the mark.
