Joke Page

found the last of the Christmas crackers?

 

A man took his wife to bed and pleasured her with a large, thick cucumber. They enjoyed great sex and after she had experienced a multiple orgasm, they both fell asleep exhausted. A few hours later, he was woken by the bed shaking violently and her screaming; "Oh God, I'm coming! Yes, yes, yes!. "What is it darling?" he asked, "Are you ok?" When she had recovered, she said "Don't worry, I'm fine. It's the cucumber repeating on me!"

 

Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque...
They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.:Wideyed::Jawdrop::Muted:

 

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?' The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that
joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. 'Now, think
about it, seriously, Cowboy ... do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,
'No ...
not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times"...