It's funny - i had a similar chat recently about the shite estate agents come out with. 'Needs modernisation' = it's falling down. 'Property has potential' = book a demolition team now. 'Character property' = you're going to be smashing your head everywhere. 'Period home' = damp. 'Popular area' - overpriced. small. fuck all parking. Busy. 'Great community spirit' = Swingers night is Friday night. 'Near a school' - Screaming kids all day long. 'Ample parking' - One car, if you're lucky. 'Good commuter town' - overpriced, fuck all parking, high crime rates. Fuck loads of delinquent free range kids running around. 'Built in a popular development' - Overlooked at every angle. 'Based in rural Kent' - Loads of money, loads of traffic. 'Newly refurbished' - painted over the cracks and relisted for an extra 20 grand. 'Kentish property' - half a million quid for a garden shed. 'Reduced for a quick sale' - Subsidence recently found. 'Bungalow' = Someone has died in here. 'Would suit a professional couple' = Suitable for one of the Seven dwarfs. 'We've had a lot of interest' - We've had no interest. 'Unexpectedly back on the market' - fallen through as it's failed building inspections. 'The market is strong at the moment' = the market isn't strong at all. 'We are very busy' = we are estate agents and have extremely high opinions of ourselves for no reason. But also lack any organisational skills. 'Relisted' = it's shit and nobody wants it. 'Situated near a park' = You're getting egged on Halloween. 'Offers over' = We've overpriced it as usual and don't know our ass from our elbow. 'The owner may consider an offer' = We told the owner it was worth more than it is because we want the business. 'It's been on the market a while' = Not only is it shit, its also overpriced as well. 'Cosy' - A wardrobe. 'Good travel links to London' = 8grand for a train ticket. For example
Tastefully modified = Ragged to within an inch of its life DPF Delete = Ragged to within an inch of its life Remapped = Ragged to within an inch of its life One careful lady owner = Alloys kerb damaged all around and never seen a service Selling for my dad = Dad’s got dementia and disappeared in the car last week, found him in Bognor Regis on the slot machines so needs gone fast
Sorry, bit of artistic licence and not reading initial post, so included cars! Bike Specific: Lifts the front wheel in 6th Gear = Knob selling a 2000 R1 in Blue Spins the back tyre in 6th Gear = Same knob selling a 2000, Blue R1, not realising he rode over a wet manhole cover during a snow storm whilst riding on slicks Dream Machine Paint Job = Been down the road when I lent it to me mate Garage Queen - Though It was like riding a bike, so bought an S1000rr aged 55 with me pension money, and didn't get out of first gear on the way home from the dealership for fear of shitting my matching new leathers Belt Service Due - Ducati owner, knock £2k off the price
I would like to know what "age related marks are" on a bike that is mint for its age and you have to appreciate the bike is over 10 years old and has been used but its mint for the year.
"The bike has 20,000 miles on clock. Never ridden in the rain". Why don't they just say imported from Bahrain?
Original Recent new "break" pads Starts first time Touring miles Best model/colour/spec/year Tastefully upgraded Everything works The kettles always on
When I was a sprog, MCN small ads had lots of bikes fitted with: c/ons and r/sets f/glass tank and seat P&C megaphones (Translation available on request)
No so much bikes but high milage car ads.. 350000 Motorway miles. Like it just spent its total exitance only on the Motorway network
I hate any ad they begins with "Here we have" You know it's overpriced and that the seller is a cnut.
Is this someone on here because in the description they've used just about every overused quote that's been posted on here, brilliant. https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Ducati-7...200568?hash=item1a9e2257f8:g:bPQAAOSwCK1fHFcs
