I haven't been told how long I have. The medics won't commit themselves other than to say if I get any kind of respiratory bug, I have probably had it. Anyway, I think I know me better than they do and I know I am struggling. To be blunt, it will be a miracle if I make through this winter. Basically my lungs are buggered and my heart is working overtime to keep up with them. So on top of 3 ops for high grade bladder cancer, I am due a scan later this month and I am half expecting to be told I have it in my lungs as well.
Very brave of you Alan to come on and give us your very personal news shows some real strength and integrity , as you have said you know your body best so look after yourself first and foremost and enjoy whatever time you have and I hope you are as well and happy as long as possible! Lots of man hugs and truly sorry for your news , skitz aka jay
Hi again Alan just to add more best wishes but separately , over the last 12 months their have been a few very familiar names that have moved onto another forum, I'm a bit of a forum slut so I'm seeing both behind each others back, "I hope that at least gave you a small grin" they have asked me to let you know that you are in there thoughts and to look after yourself going forward, best wishes from the other place
I'm so sorry to hear that news, Al. It was reading your excellent posts that encouraged me to join this forum in the first place.
I read this this morning, I didn’t know what to say then and I still don’t know what to say now. Because they are just words aren’t they?! What I will say is that I have been thinking about you all day my friend. Life is a funny thing, some squander it away, others live it to the fullest. I think we are all guilty of taking it for granted from time to time though. I hope that you make the absolute best of what you have. Ultimately none of us know how much sand is in the hour glass do we but i shall say to you what I never got the chance to say to my best friend Jack that I lost some years ago. I will make it my absolute duty to get off of my ass and do all of the things that I say I’m going to do. I promise you that. I just don’t know what to say. Sending Big hugs and Love your way. XxxX
Al, How gracious of you for letting us know of your dire situation and how grateful I am for the chance to be able to say goodbye. Blunt as you were, that is okay. It served as a harsh reminder for us to not waste time and let someone(you in this case) know that they have made a difference in this world. Even though our friendship is online, it is important nonetheless. I will forever appreciate the little bit we had communicated and learned about each other in the past. They were positive moments and they are everlasting. Thank you for making that kind of difference in my world. With caring thoughts and love, wishing you a pain free and peaceful ride out. Faith
Although I have never met you I think you are a very brave and stoic man. I hope that you achieve all you set out to do in the forthcoming days, weeks & months. Thank you for giving us all a kick up the arse. Good luck.
How lovely that we can say our goodbyes and you know exactly how we feel about you Al Very precious moments for each of us
and I feel like I should have added a really big thank you for all of your carbySS advice to me and everyone else - always given freely (even though my questions were probably daft!). Thanks to you I have a very long screwdriver hanging on my garage wall
I don’t think we ever met but from your posts on this forum it was always clear that you are a good man and will be missed by forum members. Brave of you to be up front and I’m sure all will agree that our thoughts are with you. Try and make the most of the time you have, as we should do too. Go and ride that bike in the sky.
Just seen this and like others I'm a bit lost for words. I knew from some of your past posts that you had some health problems but like most other people never guessed it was quite so serious. The no nonsense straight talking and good old fashioned technical know how is going to be missed by us all. Thoughts with you, your family and friends.
Al I would like to join with all your other brothers on the forum in hoping that you will be able to continue to get some pleasure out of whatever time you may have left. I hope your next medical tests will give you more hope. All the very best Al..
I’m sad to read this @Arquebus , sad for you and your family What can one say at such a time? Be strong, be brave and may you be with us a lot longer than you presently fear. There’s a lot of good wishes to you both here and on the other channel (which I believe you can see and read for yourself) Isn’t it strange, in a good way, how forums such as this and the other place bring one close to people we’ve never met and we share their lives just as if we knew them in the real world. Have peace Al
I, like some others on here, don't know much about you, other than having read some of your posts offering advice to those needing it at times & challenging some of the less considered 'views' offered. Reading your post was genuinely shocking and so incredibly brave of you to put it out there, something I doubt I could ever do were I in your situation, god forbid! It is abundantly clear from the responses since posted, that you are a valued, insightful person to those here on this forum, as well as your family, friends & others. I had no appreciation of how unwell you were and continue to be, something I would not wish upon anyone. With whatever time you have left, if possible to enjoy with some, albeit limited quality, try to get everything 'together', so that at least you will have the peace of mind that when the time does actually come, you will have things sorted. As I write this, it does make me think of the real frailty we all have, in spite of how strong and invincible we all feel we are at times. I sincerely hope your remaining time in our fragile world is longer and vastly better for you than envisaged. Whatever form it does take for you, please try to hold onto the good stuff and take only the positive memories with you. Make the very best of your time and be kind to yourself. Take care and good luck to you.
Thank you for your help and advice over the years Al, it has always been unstinting and well intentioned. It is tough to hear your news, but unquestionably way tougher for you to share it. I'm now going to look forward to reading a post from you about a long remission. Chin up, fella!
Thanks all.... I know me well enough to realise that things are bad.... ...but I do think it is a bit early to be saying goodbye.....I'm not actually on my deathbed even though I have to lie down a lot during the day......the whole effect is like having a constant attack of asthma (I think). Lungs are so shagged out, I can't move slowly more than about four yards without having to sit down and get breathing under control....in fact any moving about has me well out of breath. The odd thing is that blood pressure is fine; blood oxygen generally between 88% and 92% which is about right for an emphysema sufferer; body temperature normal.....but my pulse rate is rarely below 110...even after a long sleep, it isn't lower than 90. Unfortunately I have had pneumonia nine times in 10 years which has added to the damage...the last two were particularly bad. The bladder cancer is difficult to deal with....the medics wanted to remove bladder and prostrate (I told them it wan't going to happen)......then they finally realised it couldn't be done as I wouldn't survive the six hour operation. Besides, if I find out I now have it in my lungs, any other ailment treatment seems pointless. In the end all I want is a new pair of lungs (fully fitted) or the biggest motorcycle procession at my funeral.
Very sad to hear of your terrible news, all I can add to the other posts is my very best wishes and the hope that things go as well for you as they possibly can.
