rule 13? cal crutchlows results and slagin have nothing to do with what is the best make of bike ever
rule 9 3/4 - no hijacking threads with pointless jokes My wife is a scouser, which makes things very confusing. Whenever she puts her pyjamas on, I never know if she's going to bed or going to the supermarket
Rule 11: It is perfectly acceptable to sneer at riders of other brands. But try not to let them catch your eye when you're broken down at the side of the road. Again.
Rule 12 get a set of cheap race rep leathers...........instant improvement on your road riding skills...
Rule 13: Dont bother to learn how to get dressed in the morning. Go on-line and ask the internets how to do it.
15 - The *** is the most beautiful bike ever made.... Insert the number of the bike you own in there. Cue heated debate from other *** owners. No comments are allowed from old multi owners, they need an eye test.
Rule 16: Add £5k to the price of all the bikes across the range unnecessarily. Rule 17: Still get beaten by every other superbike.
Or simply Rule 16: Remember, it's Italian and therefore all about the art, the emotion and the passion rather than the outright speed. You should never discuss speed with owners of lesser Superbikes.
Rule 18: Ultimately its about performance and winning. People who think otherwise are losers. Rule 19: Snobbery is daft when you get caned by a Blade that hasnt changed much in 5 yrs. Rule 20: Ducati is the lesser superbike currently. Kawasaki, Aprilia, BMW, Honda etc build better bikes. Cheaper. Rule 21: Unless Ducati face up to the truth, Ducati will never again reclaim its crown. Rule 22: We will still buy the damn things though.
After a great deal of work knitting together the various pearls of wisdom from the past 24 hours, this is where we have got to so far..... Ducatisti – The Rules(thanks for the correction NZDave) Rule 1 – You shall obey The Rules. Rule 2 – The only real Ducati is a Red Ducati unless you are either colour blind, stupid or like flies in which case you can be forgiven for having a Yellow one. (El Toro) Rule 3 – Yellow is faster than red if you own yellow, if you own red then it is faster than yellow. If you own both then you should sell the Yellow one – see Rule 2. (Chisel) Rule 4 - The ### is the most beautiful bike ever made – insert the name/number of the one you own. (BlueHawk) Rule 5 - Ducati's are uncomfortable, if you have an issue with it either sell or harden the fuck up. (NigelM) Rule 6 - When a thread is closed, it is closed. (El Toro) Rule 7 – Never mention tax disk holders. (Chisel) Rule 8 – For an unmarried person the correct number of Ducati's to own is n+1, n being the number you currently own. (NigelM) Rule 9 – For a married person the correct number of Ducati's to own is n-1, n being the number equal to divorce. (Bobthedog) Rule 10 – you shall bling everything up and excessive use of carbon fibre is compulsory (El Toro) Rule 11 - If you own a Panigale you will not mention a heat issue, the F or P suspension setting or seat discomfort/grip – see Rule 5. (Bobthedog) Rule 12 - It is perfectly acceptable to sneer at riders of other brands. But try not to let them catch your eye when you're broken down at the side of the road. Again. (Figaro) Rule 13 - Remember, it's Italian and therefore all about the art, the emotion and the passion rather than the outright speed. You should never complain that your Ducati was a) £5k more and b) slower than every other Superbike. (Bootsam/NigelM) Rule 14 - Get a set of cheap race rep leathers and there will be an instant improvement in your road riding skills. (AndyB) Rule 15 - You should never learn how to get dressed in the morning but go on-line and ask the Forum how to do it. (El Toro) Rule 16 - You can't see behind you, the mirrors are crap, but you shall not fit bar end mirrors, instead learn the "chicken wing". (NigelM) Rule 17 - Newcomers are not to be eaten by established Forum members. Unless they are hungry, then it is permissible to eat a newcomer. (Loz) Rule 18 - Don't take the piss out of tetchy people then regret it afterwards – regret is a sign of weakness and should never be tolerated. Tetchy people see Rule 5. (Exige) Rule 19 - No slagging off of lightweight aluminium socket sets. (Loz) Rule 20 - Always lift bum slightly when farting on bike wearing leathers. (Bootsam) Rule 21 - No hijacking threads with pointless jokes. (wroughtironron)
Rule 22: you're not allowed to imply that Rolf Harris is guilty until he is proven to be. This rule isn't quite as useful as it was a few months ago but you never know when it might come in handy.
Rule 23: When you have come to the end of your ride after farting in your leathers, before you remove your them, be sure to expel the dirty air by removing the left boot first and unzipping the left leg zip. Shake your left leg 3 times and then you are good to remove your leathers completely.
Unzipping the left boot and shaking the leg is only good for solids. Hot air rises, therefore hold breath when pulling leathers downwards is better.
