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The Black Eyed Peas can sing us a song.. Whereas chickpeas can only hummus one...
Fuel prices have hit an all time low in Liverpool today, as scousers are driving off without paying..
The John O' Groats football team's coach driver has resigned after their heavy defeat in a friendly away at Land's End. When asked why, he said...
When I drive the voice on the satnav says things like, 'Turn left in 100yards, then double back at the next roundabout'. When I let my wife...
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Eyelashes are designed to keep things out of your eyes. Yet 95% of the time that something gets in your eye, it's a fecking eyelash...
Went out for a Christmas meal last night and the serviettes started singing, “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…” Turns out it was 'Napkin Cole'...
Climate change must be getting serious: I heard on the radio that there are now only 2 beetles and 1 monkey left in the world...
A dating site has been launched for well-endowed men, it's called 7 inches or Better. The site has already attracted over 60,000 women and...
200 minutes free talk time and 500 free texts a month I get. A contract with Yodafone I have.
Only a Scouser could write the lyrics, 'Imagine no possessions'....
A man went to see his doctor & showed the 18 inch hole in his arse to the GP, explaining that he'd been bummed by an elephant. "There's no way an...
"What do we want?" "A bottle of Martini!" "When do we want it?" "Any time, any place, anywhere..."
"What do we want?" "Justice for Jimmy Savile's victims!" "When do we want it?" "Now then, now then, now then.."
I can't mention the first rule of The Elephant in the Room Club.
My mate said the decision was very close in the dungaree-wearing competition at his workplace. But he ended up as overall winner..
I walked past the YMCA yesterday & saw a lad outside stroking a duck. I said, "Young man, there's no need to feel down.."
Prince Andrew's diary has just been made public. His last entry was thirteen years old...
News update: 5 died in Wisconsin parade car attack. Will that be the last book from Enid Blyton?
My mate said his bank account is helping with the environment by being permanently net zero..
