Politics. Bonking Boris Exposed - Again! Prime Minister Johnson admits being the father of twins born to his latest secretary last week. That brings the (known) total of illegitimate Boris offspring to 22, leaving leader of the opposition, Nigel Farage only on 19. The latest popularity poll puts the two neck and neck on 40% with Labour's Euan Blair now down to 12%. People. Hancill Knighted For Services To Motorcyclists. Rob Hancill was named in the King's birthday honours list for creating the world's largest social forum network. The Ducati Forum multi-billionaire granted an interview from his yacht with reporter Matt McCabe Brown and said "I couldn't have done it without all the original members - especially one known as El Toro who notched up his first million posts last year, shortly before spontaneously combusting at the keyboard". Madeleine McCann Autobiography Published. Maddy, 21 was out signing her book for hundreds of eager buyers this week. It's been three years since she was discovered, alive and well working as a maid for the Portuguese chief of police, just down the road from Praia da Luz. He still maintains his innocence and his court appearance has been delayed yet again, this time until 2027, when he will be deemed too old under local law to stand trial. Sport. Dunlop makes it to 50. Michael Dunlop won another five races at the TT this week bringing his total wins to 50, eclipsing fellow racer John McGuinness' tally of just 27. Dunlop, who seems to have mellowed in the last couple of years, when approached by a fan, was heard to quip "who the fuck are you looking at?" Meanwhile, BBC Sports Personality Of The Year-Guy Martin, pulled out all the stops to finish in second place in the Senior race and is still looking for his first win. Football. England, the current World Cup holders, are favourites to win the Euro Championship this year. Manager Sir Roy Hodgson said "Well, after beating Australia, France, Argentina and then Germany in the final two years ago without conceding a single goal, I think we could be in with a chance." Any others?
Health Care The James Griffin Foundation for Social and Mental wellbeing reveal that social inclusion has many positive effects on mental wellbeing. CEO James Griffin commented on the revelation - "wotever, I dud what e feckin wonted. No club is gud enuf for me, so feck off". It was later reported that Mr Griffin's health had suffered do to the amount of smoke he had inhaled during " mingin effin burnouts down Donny High Street".
Breaking News Sharia law officers in The Islamic state of England have "Detained" a number of what they refer to as "Christian extremists" said to be involved in last months illegal Easter egg hunt. The infidels where found hiding in a black-market bacon factory in Devon. They will be put through a cleansing program before being beheaded at Marble arch. For your viewing pleasure this will be televised live on Londonabad 1, the ISE's number one (and only) network... Peace be with you..
Motoring The new Porsche 911 was launched today, the 27th generation of the car. Stuttgart engineers have been criticised over the radical new design which under intense scrutiny is now so far removed from the original car it's possible to distinguish between the 1960's original and the new car without being an expert.
ducati finally concede the frameless technology is a crock and revert to a trellis frame and a 1000cc v4 combination......low and behold it wins first time out....without any special rules dispensation....
