Ok so my farther passed away last week. The funeral is this Thursday. Ive been split from the X of 22 years for 2.5 years and divorced since Sept last year. I live with my currant partner who ive known since i was 15 both my X wife and currant partner have never met or spoken thou as i left the "family" home for this "other" woman lets say the X was not HP even thou the last 10 years was crap. My partner said last night were am i in all this as in were do i go ? next to me i said. There is my mum brother and myself , my dad has 2 brothers and a sister and there are my 2 kids 16 & 19 both very close to dad & mum. Owe yes dads being cremated. So folks were all old enough to have gone though what im going though ATM so were do you all think my currant partner who got & gets on great with both mum & dad should be ???
Being blunt, most of us have had some kind of family fallouts so your not alone chap but have a lot of support from people who understand, there is also the support should you wish for the loss of your father. On your partner issue, by your side, you've made your choice that she is your future and should be respected as such On your ex issue, this is bigger than you as you don't know if there are still issues from other members of the family or even if your other ex half wants to go. Personally if no one has any objections then perhaps a family member close to you might say dads service is at this time at this crematorium....., you are welcome to come if you wish and leave it as open as that. She might find it too much and decline but at least the offer was made Since you left the ex, what has her relationship been with your father ? I only ask as if she has had no contact with your family since your split then that might be an opportunity to understand she wanted a clean break or was she still friends with them?
I am sorry to hear your father passed away. If I were married to a divorced woman (regardless of the circumstances of the breakup) and attending her fathers funeral, I would expect her to want me standing beside her.
The X got on very well with my dad and still see's my mum regularly , she did do a lot for them so i cant knock her on that one bit. Noobie as far as i know no one would have any problems with my partner with me and your right family fall outs seems to be the norm but there is times and places for that. Ive just found out this week she has been seeing someone for 4 months so that makes things easier. I know she will be there not for me but for Mum and the kids and again she get on with everyone but at the time of the separation she changed into a fire breathing monster from the north but im pretty sure she will be ok. Im pretty sure it will be all of a blurr anyway and Jez yes if the tables were turned id be by her side even if her twat of a x husband was there giving me evils ...
Well your partner will be by your side but to remove you from it and as they get on, Why don't you suggest to your mum, why doesn't she invite your ex and that you would have no issue with it. This makes it look like your mum is making the move, should allay any other concerns by others but also as your mum would have asked, no one would dare cause her aggrevation so may smooth the waters so to speak?
New partner by you, ex-parent invited and welcomes to sit ‘in the family zone’ imho. Unless of course your old man and the old partner didn’t get on. In which case invite but wouldn’t put any special effort into it
At this sad time your partner should be with you and being adults your X should be able to be there too. You don’t have to be best buddies but respect each other’s reason for being there
