Q. What do cabinet ministers & sperm have in common? A. They both have a one in a million chance of becoming a human being.
My missus said i never take her anywhere expensive. I said grab yer coat. She said where are we going. I said the petrol station
Two interesting facts about me 1) My knob is the same length as 2 Argos pens. 2) I'm banned from Argos.
**NEWS FLASH**. A street in Liverpool was cordoned off today when an unidentified object was found in a car.. It was later identified as a tax disc
DIY Joke. Punchline is: "Well, Father O’Malley usually gives us a cup of communion wine, two chocolate bars and a cinema ticket”. You have to make up your own intro.
As I sat on the end of the bed the other night, pulling off my boxers, a thought occurred to me: I really do spoil these dogs. :biggrin:
If there was a competition for saggy tits, my mother in law would beat everyone. In fact, she'd wipe the floor with them.
" IT'S A BOY" I shouted " A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, IT'S A BOY" and with tears streaming down my face i swore i'd never visit another Thai brothel!!!
Whenever I write a letter to someone, I add a footnote briefly explaining Ohm's law. It's my P.S. de resistance.
A fight broke out between two men in the pub last night. One threw a prawn cocktail at the other - and that was just for starters...
An 8-year-old choir boy catches the priest masturbating. He asks, “What are you doing, Father?” “It’s called masturbating, my son,” the priest replies, “and you’ll be doing this soon.” “Why’s that Father ?” “Because my wrist is killing me.”
It's a fact: If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. Cole’s law: Thinly sliced cabbage. Santa's elves are just subordinate Clauses. Life is sexually transmitted. Nothing's impossible for those who don't have to do it. I used to think I was indecisive; now I'm not sure. What if there were no hypothetical questions? No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.