Undeniable truths

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by MrAliT, Nov 22, 2013.


  1. fact!

    also applies to 4yr olds.
     
  2. And 54 year olds!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  3. The day you decide to replace the ageing noisy tumble drier and get a dishwasher whilst you're about it you will come home and find the fridge freezer has ceased to function.

    when your fridge freezer ceases to function you will then find that no one will repair American style fridge Freezers and the manufacturer isn't interested as it is out of warranty.
     
  4. When your heating system alarm keeps going off through the week but your too busy working the day you finally call a plumber will be the day that it finally packs up and you have no hot water nor heating and they can't come out for a week. Aaaah. It's feckin cold
     
  5. People only ever knock on the door when you're sat on the khazi:mad:
     
    • Like Like x 1
  6. The phrase "I'm not being bitchy" is ALWAYS followed by the word "but..."
     
  7. There really are that many chavs and stupid people in the world. Being stupid is not something that will prevent you from getting a highly paid job
     
    • Like Like x 1
  8. In exactly the same vein, "I'm not racist, but..." is always followed by a racist comment
     
    • Like Like x 1
  9. a fish has a water tight heed.
     
  10. [TABLE="width: 100%"]
    [TR]
    [TD]You'll never see a church with wi-fi.

    they don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works. [/TD]
    [TD="align: right"][​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [/TABLE]
     
    • Like Like x 4
  11.  
    #31 MrAliT, Nov 23, 2013
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2013
  12. Snakes with tits! :rolleyes:

    You know who I mean!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. When you're having your prostate checked and after a few minutes you realise the Doctor has both his hands on your shoulders
     
    #33 ChrisB, Nov 23, 2013
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2013
  14. We're all going to die.
     
  15. Not true. 50% of all humans that have ever lived are still alive.
     
  16. "With the greatest of respect...", really means "I think you are a cunt, but I would lose my job if I said so....."
     
    • Like Like x 1
  17. Does my bum look big in this ---- honestly the answer is not just your bum you're fuckin huge .
    someone wants to buy your bike --- why do they have to make an issue about the tyres , they're consumables for fucks sake , that's the price I want for the bike , get the most out of what's left and buy some of your own .
     
  18. Bradders..?

    Bit mean...
     
  19. I won't !
     
  20. With dettol and veet silly
     
Do Not Sell My Personal Information