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Our local vicar has 3 dogs called: Lucifer, Beelzebub & Satan. He takes them running with him every day, to 'exercise his demons'....
Back in the day, I didn't know that 'Oral B' was a toothbrush. I thought she was the sluttier member of The Spice Girls.
I found out that you can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed very easily: It appears that simply forgetting your wife's birthday does the...
Nope. Never seen it.
A shark can swim faster than I can. However, I can run faster than a shark can. So in a triathlon it all comes down to who's the best cyclist.
I didn't think the orthopaedic shoes I received for Christmas would improve my posture. I stand corrected..
Tbe wife said she wanted a hula hoop for Christmas, as she hadn't seen one since she was a girl. I bought her a whole packet, sod the expense...
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If anyone knows of somebody eating Christmas dinner alone this year, with no family or friends, can you please give them my details I need to...
Apparently, it takes approximately fifty hours to walk off a Christmas dinner. Or two weeks if you have attended a party hosted by a government...
Due to Covid restrictions, football in Scotland will be 'spectator free'. No change there then...
Q. How do you describe a gay Santa? A. As a hohohomosexual..
A former estate agent is now writing obituaries for the local paper. A recent post read: 'Charles Higginbotham 76, passed away peacefully last...
My big headed boss said to me, "I bet you can't see your dick when you look down in the shower." "No, just the top of your wife's head." I replied.
Somerset rogue builder Mark Buck has been imprisoned for his crimes of fraud. During their interview meeting, the prison warden said, "Your nine...
Santa hit hard times, so he tried to sell Dasher and Prancer on eBay. But nobody bid for them because they were two deer...
A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree...
News headline: Germany attacks UK over Omicron. Because attacking Britain has worked so well for them in the past....
My mate bought his 6-year old son a jigsaw last Christmas. Huge mistake; he'd cut all his little sister's fingers off before breakfast time..
My mate started the Christmas season in style last night, with a piss up and a punch up. Apparently, he won't be welcome at his kid's primary...
