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I keep having a recurring dream where I think I am a horse. Last six nights on the trot..
William Hurt's career highlights: Body Heat (1981) Body Cold (2022)
The Home Secretary is considering permanent markings on the genitals of male sex offenders. But I'm not in favour of government diktats..
My mate reckons his home PC is like his sex life: He says his zip is often down, his floppy keeps poking out, and he feels he needs more bytes on...
My mate watched Starstruck with Olly Murs. He reckons he hasn't seen a shittier pilot since Lufthansa's Andreas Lubitz.
Next week is diarrhoea awareness week. Runs from Monday to Friday.
My mate is in hospital with poisoning after eating what he thought was an onion, but it was really a daffodil bulb. Doctors say he should be out...
When I was in the pub last night I overheard a couple of men saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an Aircraft if they knew the pilot was a...
An old man was found having sex with the putrefying corpse of his dead wife. When questioned by police he told them that he always fancied her...
My mate calls his wife 'Watford F.C.' Because she kicks off every 10 minutes...
My new online bank account needed a password so I chose 'chicken'. The system then stated, "Password must contain a capital." So I chose,...
Ukranians have been offered free accommodation in Walsall. The Ukranians have decided to turn around & go back to their demolished houses..
Tryin to find out what 'delegation' means: Asking for a friend....
The world's first pig heart transplant patient is no more. Apparently, he snuffled it..
Don't try Tesco's new dating service: My mate did, and he ended up with a bag for life.
Q. What was Yoda's last name? A. Layheeho..
If you weigh 100kg on Earth, you only weigh 40kg on Mars. The wife's not fat. She's just on the wrong planet..
After the sanctioning of Roman Abramovich, the British government has published a licence that allows football-related activities to take place at...
I let the wife have a lie-in on International Women's Day: Waiting an extra half hour for my breakfast was a small sacrifice to make.
I've been prescribed anti-gloating cream. I can't wait to rub it in.
