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Q. What do Prince Andrew and Manchester United have in common? A. It went badly wrong for both of them when Fergie left.
It'll soon be Pancake Day. It crêpes up quickly......
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My mate said the doctor told his girlfriend to go easy on the oral sex for a while. She's taking it on the chin...
Two Italian men got on a bus in Britain. They sat down and engaged in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignored them at...
Q. What is the most expensive thing in the world? A. A woman who is free for the weekend..
Anyone know if it's possible to take a graft from a buttock & attach it to someone who is an acquaintance? Arse skin for a friend...
Another new long Covid symptom…..not being able to realise when you are at a party.
Q. What's the difference between Boris Johnson and Fred West? A. Nobody in Fred West's garden grassed on him..
Just seen the headline: 'Another blow for Prince Andrew'. You'd think he'd give it a rest for a while under the circumstances....
The American who received a pig's heart was known for being funny and charismatic. Now he's a bit of a boar.
My mate was at marriage guidance counselling with his wife the other day when the counsellor said, "Apparently, you never buy her flowers." My...
I'm in trouble with the wife again. I bought her some lorry oil for her birthday. Apparently, what she actually asked for was L’Oreal...
Tried putting a lighter to one of my farts the other day to see what effect it would have... It made no difference to the flame but everybody...
I keep receiving emails about some American guy receiving the heart of a pig in a transplant. They're going straight into my spam folder...
Just when you think the lies told by government ministers can't get any more far fetched.... A man stands up in Parliament and claims to be upset...
Apparently, if you have a breakdown in an electric car you can still use the AA. However, if it's a small electric car you have to use the AAA...
Michael Gove missed a BBC Radio 4 interview after being stuck for 30 minutes in an elevator. He should have taken steps to avoid that...
Q. What's the difference between Prince Andrew's car & his girlfriend? A. He doesn't mind the police knowing his car's 14 years old.
I'm doing an A Level in taking the piss. I have mock exams coming up....
