Slingy123, I don’t know you and have never met you, but I am rooting for you! Any positivity I have about me right now, I am sending your way. Keep on keeping on, and see where it takes you! Live for this moment only. Believe it or not, things can and will change, nothing stays the same
Heart wrenching passages to read as you process the loss of the soul mate you clearly adored. Irreplaceable, but what you will always have is the full love and support of your family and friends as well as everyone else on this forum. That is a given.
Don't know whether I should say this on the forum or in a PM, but I'll put it here as it may prompt other people to share their experiences. @Slingy123 I don't know whether you've set this in motion already, but if not I urge you to get bereavement counselling, and as part of that ask about a PTSD assessment. You gone through the most horrendous experience. The untimely loss of the most important person in your life is bad enough when you can see it coming and can prepare for it. When it comes like a bolt from the blue and you witness it, the shock is incalculable. Your erratic behaviour, your mad drive down to the coast and the suicidal thoughts are the actions of someone in deep shock. If you are suffering PTSD - and in the circumstances it would be surprising if you weren't - you will need help to overcome it or it will drag your memory back to that terrible day, rather than allowing you to unpack and keep the good memories you had before this happened and discard the rest. It's a long gradual process but that is the normal process of grief and its function, to allow your memory to do some housekeeping so you can adapt, come to terms and survive to live the rest of your life. But PTSD is akin to a glitch in the groove of memory that causes the needle to get stuck. Please look into getting help with this, if you haven't already. It's not a sign of weakness. If you are suffering PTSD it's normal in such exceptional circumstances, and while you can't put a price on stoicism, strength of will, the understand of friends and the kindness of strangers, sometimes it can only get you so far, and not to the place you need to be, which is remembering the woman you loved and not what happened to her. I'll leave these here for you and I wish you all the very best. https://sudden.org/help-for-friends-and-communities/grief-disorders-and-ptsd/ https://www.cruse.org.uk/understanding-grief/ https://thenbs.org/
@Slingy123 I’m Steve, I started this thread just over 3 years ago, I’m still battling the drink, but that’s by the by I lost both my parents within a few months of each other, granted they were elderly, but it certainly took me more than 6 months to begin to come to terms with the loss, cliche I know, but time is a healer Slingy And it goes without saying, Emma certainly wouldn’t want you to give up the fight I really wish you all the best & I truly hope time helps you to heal.
Alcohol use can increase your risk for a variety of mental disorders, such as depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia. Alcohol is a depressant and can suppress the nervous system, which can affect mood and mental state.
One of my best friends killed himself the other week after over a year struggling. Tried my best to help him. Feel utterly, mentally battered from it all. Had a full bore breakdown this morning. Uncontrollable tears. I’ll be okay. But damn it’s tough. Hit me like a wrecking ball today having had his funeral Monday. His poor family. Took the day off today, sat with my dog drinking tea and watching crap on YouTube. Decompressing
sorry to hear this mate. has anyone heard from Slingy? I hope he’s doing alright as I do for anyone suffering badly
Sorry to hear that, old chap. I've been in the same position, albeit with a fairly distant friend, but it was still a huge shock.
@Slingy123 I'm sure he will update you soon. I can give you a little bit of info He is Still dealing with the aftermath of losing Emma police etc and work He has also been away to family recently I will leave him to catch you all when he can
Sorry to hear that mate, this sort of thing is far too common place. Don't sit on your own feeling shit, go out or get some company over.
Sorry for your loss, and for your friends family's loss. Tea far better than alcohol in such circumstances. You're a better man than me as I'd be getting stuck into something stronger.
Been in the same position a couple of times myself, it gets better i promise and shout if you want to natter.
I'm glad he's talking, I'm glad he's around his family. I think about the guy every time I log on to the forum and pray in my own not-particularly-religous way that he's getting a bit more in control of his feelings each week.
@Advikaz I am truly sorry for your loss, I really am. It an awful situation to land in and the loss of a dear friend is never easy, as is any loss I guess. Days like today will come in like a wrecking ball and turn your world inside out. Days you feel you may be coping are just one simple thought away from that ball flatting everything in its path again. I wish you well my friend, I hope your journey isn’t too painful and you some how manage to find comfort in the shit show. Keep occupied and seek comfort in family and friends , tough as we all like to be, nothing better than a shoulder to cry on and empty your soul too. Stay strong pal. Wishing you the very best
Thankyou mate. Very much appreciated, especially coming from you Sir. I hope you are as well as can be brother
This is a brave post good on you. I am 40 now and have suffered on and off with anxiety and depression for 20 years or so from trauma as a child that later caught up with me and life. I do have a drink now and then but never to excess anymore as felt it made me feel far worse for longer after than the short hi during. I am always happy to lend an ear to anyone having issues.
Sorry to hear that, must be difficult to deal with. I’m pretty sure we all know someone who couldn’t find another way out.
Once you can break the cycle of feeling like you need a drink it's actually really liberating. Even if that need is only every weekend. If you break the need, you may be able to be in a position at some point, to be able to enjoy the odd drink. But you may go the other way and start to think alcohol is the devil's juice. I've been telling anyone who will listen, to try Wim Hof breathing techniques. I've been using them for years to manage fatigue, but a lot of people say it also has mental health benefits. I use this YouTube video daily:
