Curry?

Let me get this right...you bought your wife cookery lessons as a xmas present and she didn't kick your baubles off..?

 

Or a very understanding wife...

 

Anyone tried 'The Widower'?

Hallucinating after eating world’s hottest curry | | Independent Notebook Blogs

 

What's the point though? What's the point of putting yourself in pain just to prove you're an idiot. Going out for a meal is supposed to be a pleasurable experience.

 

unless youre out on a ducati forum evening.

Re Figs comment about hot chilli....i think the difference is that Indian spices are compound heat and have an entirely different flavour to mexican, caribbean and south american chillis..
The mexican chillis are hot from the get go and stay there, Indian chillis get hotter and hotter and have a deeper heat..Scottish bonnets, jalapenos, habaneros for example have a stinging heat, whereas a naga chilli is a deeper fire that gets hotter and hotter even if youve spat the thing out..
A mate of mine grows chillis as a hobby and sells them..many of the types he grows (ghost chilli, dorset naga etc) are really only meant to be used in non lethal weapons!! the ghost chilli is something in excess of a million scovilles...handle with gloves only or the HSE bloke will be shining that torch up your arse.

 

I like a hot curry, but I'm not planning to try 'The Widower'. I suspect it's marketed as some kind of macho challenge & I have no idea how many takers they have had.

Just wondered if anyone has tried it. Might appeal to some of the others who like hot curry.

 

An old favourite:


CHILI JUDGING CONTEST: A Texas Chili Contest - If you can read this
whole story without laughing then there's no hope for you.

**Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to
the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better.


The notes are from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was
visiting from Canada.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili
cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I
happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions
to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the
other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that
spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the
tasting, so I accepted". Here are the scorecards from the event:

Chili # 1 Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor.. Very mild.
Judge # 3 -- (Frank) Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could
remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the
flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

Chili # 2 Arthur's Afterburner Chili
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what
I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who
wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer
when they saw the look on my face.

Chili # 3 Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.
Judge # 2 -- A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels
like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get
me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my
backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting $hit-faced from
all of the beer.

Chili # 4 Bubba's Black Magic
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or
other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable
to taste it. Is it possible to burn out tastebuds? Sally, the barmaid,
was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. woman is
starting to look HOT... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is
chili an aphrodisiac?

Chili # 5 Linda's Legal Lip Remover
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding
considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must
admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I
can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed
paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her
chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by
pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my
lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop
screaming. Screw those rednecks.

Chili # 6 Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of
spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and
garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,
sulfuric flames. I crapped myself when I farted and I'm worried it will
eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except
that woman Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips
anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

Chili # 7 Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of
chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried
about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing
uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds
like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which
slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava like crap to
match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed
me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not
getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through
the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

Chili # 8 Tommy's Toe-Nail Curling Chili
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too
bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balance chili. Neither mild nor
hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 farted, passed
out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure
if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to
really hot chili....

 

The trouble with chillies is they're lying bastards. It should be green for go and red for stop.

 

meat vindaloo, mushroom rice and a cheese naans my normal, like it hot but a phalls too much for me

 

Best Curries I ever had were sitting in Goan grass thatched beach bars, Fish Vindaloo (fish straight out of the sea), a naan and a freezing cold beer. For about £2.50. Was touring Goa on an old Enfield. Ahh the memories.

 

U canny whack a good saag

Need to get the keyboard fixed