I have 2 children and I've only ever smacked my eldest once. It wasn't hard but I felt terrible the instant I'd done it. It was a loss of control..... I wouldn't have smacked her if I'd not lost my temper and that was the worst feeling. In my mind you have to have a child's respect. This is different from them fearing you and I think some people fail to make this distinction.
No its not, for the vast majority, as they are busy learning to walk, talk and play. They dont have the mental capacity, or the learned skill, to reason one action for another at a verbal level. They burn their hand on the fire, unlikley to do it again. I've given my son a tap on the hand less than a handful of times, as a last resort, and I'd rather than than him get squashed or hurt doing something he cant factor a consequence into mentally. But what I can say is it hurt me far more than him emotionally, as another great adult trait is guilt. And for once can we dispense with the ridiculous overstatement of worse case, drawing a black and white conclusion that if someone slaps their kids hand that means they MUST be unable to stop there...we're talking a tap not beating them black and blue. Whether its banned or not, that would still happen and is not a result of a society which belives ultimte sanction to a young child is a slight smack
Most children are smarter than we give them credit for. Just because a system of punishment might achieve a desired outcome in terms of deterring certain types of behaviour doesn't justify its use.
Doesn't that tell you that it's not right, the pro smacking argument seems to advocate there are no alternatives, there are, you don't have to smack your children to teach them right and wrong or discipline them.
I disagree with that completely. It's the anti-smacking brigade that are blinkered. Pro-smacking allows you options for teaching and disciplining kids, whereas the anti-smacking lobby suggests that only talking to your kids is allowed. It is a more blinkered and less effective way in my opinion.
I think Midwives should talk to new-borns and explain why they should take that first breath :biggrin:
I won't say, "I was smacked as a child and it didn't do me any harm" - mainly because it was more than "smacking" and it did do me harm. It stopped when I was sixteen and big enough (and angry enough) to put up a fight. That said, I did, although rarely, smack my boys. I don't recall ever doing it to then after the age of 4. I smacked them when they did something dangerous, to themselves or to each other, because the "talking to them" approach left too much scope, in my opinion, for repeat offences. And I mean smack, not "a damn good hiding" or "a clip around the ear". A smack, top of the legs or backside, as appropriate. I know that my approach did no harm to my boys. I recall one day blowing up at them both when they were about seven or eight over something they did, really blew my stack with them (I had other pressures at the time) and their response was a mild "Calm down Dad." They had literally no fear of me when I was, frankly, freaking out. If I'd seen my own Dad in that kind of state I'd have probably gone catatonic with fear. My boys are polite, occasionally thoughtful and entirely non-violent. They have been open to reason as pre-teens, as young teenagers and as adults.
No, I'd feel guilty tapping Kelly Brook but doesnt mean its wrong ;-) What it tells me is that its an absolute last resort, and one which is used so rarely as, an adult, I feel more regret than the sprog for whatever occurred beforehand.
"Sprog" Not exactly a term of endearment for ones child. A word usually used, in my experience, by people who don't have children.
So you don't accept there are any alternatives, an adult has to hit a small child to teach and discipline them?
Please don't give me the inverted snob crap, from your posts I read, you have a very comfortable middle class white collar lifestyle, I don't read any evidence of you slumming it
It's an idea though. By a second hand portable defibrillator . Little tommy or Tamara throws a wobbler in tesco. Zap um ! Should keep the quiet until post checkout ! Forgive me. I blame it on the python years
I have never smacked junior, and that is not saying I wouldn't. The little shit is too well behaved, perhaps he needs a few slaps to get him all anti and a bit of rebellion in him. I have no compunction in slapping other peoples kids, they are not my offspring and I dont like them.
Bollox. At 18-24 months my daughter could manipulate a mouse to make a bear climb a tree to release a shower of gold coins and play a tune. And anyway which particular piece of Piaget are you quoting to support which point ?
