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Honda Cars

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Nothingbettertodo, Jan 11, 2013.

  1. Dear Mr Nothingbetertodo-san

    We're very sorry you feel that way but you need to understand that exciting cars create a risk to manufaturers like us, especially to you round eyed westerners. We produced the NSX which was one of the best handling and balanced cars of its era (fact) yet the first thing you did was eschew it in favour of brands to do with pork, beef or horses.

    The other problem you round eyes have is this obsession with looking cool and staring over at what the bloke next door has on his drive, and your vision is darkened by that cloud of smug above your heads that your 'badge' is better or more prestigious. The as you call them ... krauts, have got this nailed to a tee, with their 'german engineering and reliability' tag. Despite mercs are plagued with electrical ghosts and audi will make you pay for the privilege of glass in the windows if they could you still applaud them and love them for it.

    The problem with our stuff is that it's all designed by committee now and conservative is consistency. However dull we are, our brake lines will run for 20 years plus and our bolts never seize because of the three years we spent on coatings for them. Unfortunately even in our own lands, people will still drive a rover, for no other reason that western stuff is so stupidly expensive that its proof you've got a few quid to throw around. Dull also can mean finite reliability, as we are not italian, we cannot get away with cobbling together a dubious product and call it 'character' if we did, it would be called a pile of junk. Germans realised this very early on and thus was borne the german reliability mantra.

    We also try to create the world car, which the committee says will be good for profit because we can sell it in every market and thus costs are kept low due to volume of sales - much like ford's first world car, the focus.

    Also lets face it, we are, first and foremost an engine manufacturer, we try and kid ourselves other wise but we are s'there. At the moment we're too wary to produce anything which could stir tea, let alone anything which could stir emotion, in part because dull and reliable will sell all day long, everywhere, whereas exciting costs money and we don't like spending that, and on that matter neither do our customers as they're all too scared that if they have a groat to rub together they should hand onto it in case they lose their jobs tomorrow. This of course doesn't apply to the filthy f*****g c**t bankers, but they're all on top of the shard taking shits on the people below... and you all thought it was rain and airborne dirt.

    We will do exciting, but unfortunately the really mad stuff we have going on will never be bought or seen because we can't put the right badge on the front. However if it makes you happy we are producing a car for the venerable powered on stale wee and incontinence, which pull away itself and has no steering wheel for safety reasons.. and won't start up or go on the road before 10am.

    I hope this explains a little of why we're so dull, whilst not really answering anything at all.

    Kindest Regards

    The big H.

    p.s. When we gave rover our 1.6 engines, the biggest problems with them was that the only thing that wend wrond was crank position sensor every 100,000 miles and the spark plugs galling in the head as people forgot to get them serviced as they were that dull and reliable!


    Translated on behalf of the big H by an italian bike riding, german tank owning fat bloke.

    Sayonara arrivederci goodbye :)
     
    • Like Like x 3
  2. Excellent
     
  3. thats funny, like the bit

    'The other problem you round eyes have is this obsession with looking cool and staring over at what the bloke next door has on his drive'
     
  4. One of my team went to China a few years ago to secure the supply of some parts. He was walking through the town on his way to the Hotel, and noticed he was surrounded by lots of children, pointing and laughing. He asked his host what was going on, and the host replied "they have never seen a round-eye before".

    I think this is funny, not racism. If it was a comment from adults, and about slant-eyes, what would be the reaction?
    Sometimes, children have a better word-view than adults.
     
  5. I agree that the engines were extremely reliable. Honda and Rover had a cross shareholding and joint manufacturing agreement during the 1980's and early 1990's.

    The Honda execs were always complaining about the paint quality of vehicles produced at Longbridge.

    The Longbridge Manufacturing Director arranged a quality inspection for the Honda directors, and bought some Honda built vehicles from Honda dealers to include in the inspection. The Honda directors were very scathing about the paint quality of the cars built at Longbridge, especially those that were actually made by Honda themselves!
     
  6. My mate did about 110 miles in my accord today, as there is a problem with his fto. He commented it was a very well built, and exceptionally quiet car, but it did make him appreciative of the fto.

    The Honda is more than a little anonymous. It does its job extremely well, but its job is to move people comfortably and reliably not to excite them!
     
  7. The dilution of the Type-R bloodline for Europe started with the EP3, but the FN2 put the nail in the coffin. Torsion beam rear suspension. LSD missing. Electronic power steering. Even dressing it up as the Mugen 200 or CW edition (and restoring the diff) doesn't get away from the fact that you've got a lame duck holding up either end. No. Just no.

    The badge just became a marketing exercise, albeit a very successful one. Go back a decade, and it would have been called a VTI - a Madras to the R's full fat Vindaloo. They sold bloody loads of them, to people who would never have traditionally bought a Type R because they were too harsh, too demanding.

    I miss mine terribly, they were the soundtrack to my 20's. Started off with a VTi, then a DC5 and finally the FD2. 10 glorious years of driving around like a complete and utter loon :biggrin:
     
    • Like Like x 2
  8. Harsh ! you dont know what harsh is till you get these bad boys on

    IMG_0037.jpg

    IMG_0037.jpg
     
  9. Not really. I've driven much worse than an FN2 on 19" Rage wheels. Admittedly track-set coilovers and solid engine mounts possibly wasn't the best idea.
     
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