Texting codes for Senior Citizens ATD - At the Doctor's BFF - Best Friend's Funeral BTW - Bring the Wheelchair BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth CBM - Covered by Medicare CUATSC - See You at the Senior Centre FWIW - Forgot Where I Was FYI - Found Your Insulin GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low GHA - Got Heartburn Again HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On? LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out LOL - Living on Lipitor OMSG - Oh My! Sorry, Gas ROFL...CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up! WAITT - Who Am I Talking To? WTFA - Wet the Furniture Again WTP - Where's the Prunes? WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in! DTAF - Don't Trust A Fart
A guy calls his wife from A & E, he tells her that his finger has been severed off in an accident at work. "Oh my God" cries the wife, "The whole finger?" "No" replies the husband. "The one next to it."
The British government has said they have no intention of closing their embasy in North Korea even though North Korea have said the embasy staff will not be safe . Other news today . Mr Phillpot of Derby has been pardoned of his crimes and appointed as new British Embasader too North Korea.
Paolo Di Canio is setting his sights higher than just avoiding relegation at Sunderland. Next season he's aiming to lead them into Europe.
I was in a cafe in Australia, and the waiter asked how I wanted my steak done. I replied, "Fry me kangaroo brown, sport."
Justin Bieber has a pet monkey? Why do I feel that 15 years from now he'll be black and molesting children?
I went to the Grand National last year. Unfortunately my nag lost a shoe and fell. Can't take my wife anywhere.
A miserable-looking man was sitting in a bar one night. "Why are you looking so sad?" asked the barman. "My wife's made me a millionaire." said the man. "If my wife made me a millionaire, I'd be the happiest man on earth", said the barman. "Yes, but before I met her I was a multimillionaire."
