With all these celebrities getting arrested for child molestation, it almost makes me wonder if Gary Glitter did have a gang
I went on a date with a girl with a stutter. The waiter asked what she would like to order? She said, "N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n..." At that point I decided to help her out and shouted.......................................... "BATMAN."
I went down the local fair last night, and they had one of those things you have to punch as hard as you can. A gypsy.
Producers say they will not allow a gypsy into the Big Brother house. There is no way anyone could evict one of them....
Sitting on the end of the bed pulling off my boxers. I thought to myself, I fucking spoil these dogs.
Q: Why does cows have such a long face? A: Being pulled in the tits twice a day, but only c*ck once a year, it's a big dissapointment!
I just got a text message from my girlfriend that reads, 'We need to talk.' Awesome. I'll bet she's decided to accept my proposal of a threesome with her sister.
My son came in from school and said, "The teacher gave me a B for my Biology practical." I said, "That's good, well done." He said, "No it isn't. Everyone else got a frog to cut up."
A girl I met invited me over to her house and said she would like to make me a curry. "I wouldn't thank you for it," I said. "Why?" She replied. "Don't you like Indian food?" "I love it," I responded. "I'm just an impolite bastard."
There's a bloke in Hungary who goes round from door to door trying to convert people to Zen philosophy. He's a Buddha pest.
As I staggered drunkenly out of the wedding I saw somebody writing "Just Married" on my car. It was my wife of 10 years. Seems I'm still married, but only just.
So Justin Bieber has upset his fans again by arriving 2 hours late for his Dubai concert. What a great opportunity for Islamists to unite with Christians. By jailing the bastard for life.
Apparently 1 out of every 3 people cheat in a relationship. I'm not sure if that means my girlfriend or my wife.......
Its starting to get to that age where all my friends are starting to get married and have kids. I can't even bring myself to commit to a phone contract.
The greatest virtues known to Man are Faith, Hope and Charity. And the greatest of these is the one with the biggest tits.
