I tried a spicy beaver curry last night,quite nice actually. It's like a mild chicken curry,but a little otter.
Travel News: A Lorry load of Vicks Vaporub has overturned on the M25. Expect no congestion in the area
Customer: "Waitress, what's the difference between a teabag and a tampon?" Waitress; "Don't know." Customer: "Coffee please, love...."
Brazils new stadium looks good, I expected the pitch to just be a strip of turf on the edge of the box.
Of course the bible is true. Loads of people in the Middle East are called Simon, Peter, James, Matthew, Andrew and Phillip.
earlier today a theft took place from Apple Store in the Town Centre. Police are appealing for iWitnesses.
I have a Scottish friend, who last year married a Native American girl, and the couple recently celebrated the birth of a baby boy. Choosing the name proved to be very contentious, though. He wanted to give him a Scot's name, while she wanted to give him a traditional Mohican one. Thankfully, they sorted it, and I was really honoured when they asked me if I would be Godfather to little "Hawkeye The Noo"
Saw a sign on the train saying, "Please give this seat to an elderly person." So I unscrewed it and took it to my Grandad's house.
I got really excited when my wife said that she wanted to tell me about her lesbian fantasy. Sadly all she wants to do is hit Clare Balding in the face with a hammer.
I rang my daughter at work today. "Dad!" she hissed. "I'm not supposed to get personal calls!" "Sorry, "I said, "I just wanted to see how your first day was going. You looked a bit nervous before." "I'm fine. Now please hang up before I get into trouble." "OK love. Wave then." "Dad! it's Babestation. Fuck off."
I popped into the 'Wonga' shop next door to borrow a pen. I've got to give them seventy pens back by the end of the week
I was searching for ages to find a Coca-Cola bottle with my wife's name on. I eventually gave up and got the next best thing - a Kit Kat Chunky.
Cath·e·ter 1. A flexible tube inserted through a narrow opening into a body cavity, particularly the bladder, for removing fluid. 2. Michael Douglas
So Michael Douglas has claimed his cancer was caused by oral sex.. If your wife is Catherine Zeta Jones it's probably worth the risk.
I pulled Catherine Zeta-Jones last night and took her back to my place, one thing led to another and before I knew it she was sitting on my face. Surely that's attempted murder?
So Michael Douglas has claimed his cancer was caused by oral sex. Thanks Mike, now my wife has another fucking excuse.
