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Joke Page

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Rudolph Hart, Mar 19, 2012.

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  1. Upon hearing Michael Douglas got throat cancer after engaging in oral sex, Angelina Jolie has now had her pussy surgically removed.
     
    #2821 El Toro, Jun 3, 2013
  2. So, Michael Douglas is blaming Cunnilingus for his throat cancer.


    Fuck me ... that's the last time I fly to Dublin with them if that's going to happen.
     
    #2822 El Toro, Jun 3, 2013
  3. BREAKING: Jose Mourinho has been sacked as Chelsea manager for failing to win a trophy in his 33 seconds as boss
     
    #2823 El Toro, Jun 3, 2013
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Big date tonight with the hot new bird that moved into my building.


    If I play my cards right maybe I'll get some throat cancer.
     
    #2824 El Toro, Jun 3, 2013
  5. A rabbi and a priest go to see a boxing match.


    As the fighters enter the ring, one of them makes the sign of the cross.


    "What does that mean?", the rabbi asked.


    "Fuck all", replied the priest, "unless he can fight."
     
    #2825 El Toro, Jun 3, 2013
  6. But John Terry picked it up anyway.
     
    #2826 gliddofglood, Jun 3, 2013
    • Like Like x 2
  7. Man City have signed winger Jesus Navas.

    Apparently he can nail a cross.
     
    #2827 Rudolph Hart, Jun 4, 2013
  8. Shocking revelation today about what you can get from licking a cunt......




    The Deputy Prime Ministers job!
     
    #2828 Rudolph Hart, Jun 4, 2013
  9. So, Michael Douglas is blaming cunniligus for his throat cancer.


    I didn't realize it was cuntagous!
     
    #2829 El Toro, Jun 4, 2013
  10. I just received a hot text from my wife and rushed home, only to discover that "I want to have banal sex with you right now" was exactly how she had intended to spell it.
     
    #2830 El Toro, Jun 4, 2013
    • Like Like x 1
  11. I have a terrible premature ejaculation problem.

    According to the lady fitting my trousers.
     
    #2831 El Toro, Jun 4, 2013
    • Like Like x 1
  12. I've tried for so long to make my wife happy, but she point blank refuses to wear the dwarf costume.
     
    #2832 El Toro, Jun 4, 2013
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Something to remember if you are feeling down & powerless.


    A single pubic hair can shut down an entire restaurant.
     
    #2833 Rudolph Hart, Jun 4, 2013
  14. Q. Which is Britain's best known drug sniffing dog?


    A. Kerry Katona.
     
    #2834 Rudolph Hart, Jun 4, 2013
    • Like Like x 1
  15. The mother in law can't understand her weight gain, claiming to be a light eater.


    True, as soon as it gets light she starts eating.....
     
    #2835 Rudolph Hart, Jun 4, 2013
    • Like Like x 1

  16. :rolleyes:
     
    #2836 funkyrimpler, Jun 4, 2013
  17. I would make another chemistry joke,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,










    But the good ones argon
     
    #2837 Char, Jun 5, 2013
  18. "What do we want?"
    "Hearing aids."
    "When do we want them?"
    "Hearing aids."
     
    #2838 El Toro, Jun 5, 2013
  19. My MP likes his women like he likes everything else.

    Paid for by the taxpayer.
     
    #2839 Rudolph Hart, Jun 5, 2013
  20. My wife is a real party animal.

    Whenever she dresses up for one, she looks like a hippo.
     
    #2840 El Toro, Jun 5, 2013
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