how many solicitors doe it take to change a light bulb?.............fook it lets throw 3 at this job (and work really hard!), legal aid are paying....
I've just heard something about that cunt who everybody hates, having just gone back to Jordan. Well, more fool you, Peter Andre.
I don't know much about African culture. Except that there isn't any situation where dancing is inappropriate.
I've just picked up a nasty computer virus. It's wiping my hard drive and sending all my email contacts animal pornography and terrorist manifestos. It's PC gone mad, I'm telling you.
I don't get all these posts about girls taking off their bras after a long day how its the 'best feeling in the world' and how guys will 'never undersand' When a girl takes her bra off its the best feeling for us too!
Whilst I was away on business my wife, being the romantic sort, sent me a text: If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you! I replied "I am on the toilet. Please advise."
Just turned on the telly in time to see Andy Murray's post match interview and it looks like he won.......or lost..... Hell, I really don't know.
Andy Murray has just sealed the fate for Scottish Devolution. There's no way we are going to lose our Wimbledon champion to a group of skirt-wearing, foul-mouthed, lard eating alcoholics.
My wife says I'm just jumping on the bandwagon celebrating a new British Wimbledon champion, and that I've no right to celebrate what I don't understand, well she can be as bitter as she likes, Congratulations Andy Murphy !
Once upon a time my body was loose and flexible and my dick was constantly stiff! Now my dick is loose and flexible and my body's constantly stiff!
John Inverdale has apologised for singling out and offending the Ladies Wimbledon Champion, Marion Bartoli, as "no looker". In a statement today he was relieved to say "now that Andy Murray has won as well, I can confirm that they are both ugly bastards".
I bet Andy Murray struggled to get home after winning Wimbledon, having to tow that fucking massive bandwagon that everyone seems to have jumped on!!
I have something called the Jehovah's Witness Relocation Programme. Anyone knocking on my door at 8 am on a Sunday, their family will never bloody see them again!
My wife's new years resolution was to lose 20 pounds by the end of summer. She's only got 30 pounds to go.
