I'm sick to death of scumbags living in massive houses, not doing any work and living off the state. Having kids when ever they want. Broken marriages. Pissed up antics of young teenage chavs. Having massive loud parties until the early hours keeping us all awake. God bless our royal family.
On the news tonight, the newsreader asked "What will be Diana's legacy to her grandson?" I thought 'Car Safety Seat'?
The estimated cost of raising the Royal baby up to the age of 18 will cost the taxpayer around 3.6 million pounds. Making the birth pay per view would have easily covered that.
"It's a boy!" Great thing to yell outside St Mary's hospital. Horrible thing to yell in a Thai brothel.
As the doctor went through my notes, he said, "The surgery has risks. You will almost certainly regain the sight in your eyes but there is a chance it will affect your ability to maintain an erection." I said, "How come?" He said, "Well ... your wife is very ugly".
Kate and William have agreed that when the baby wakes in the night, they will both take it in turns............ ...........to call the nanny.
My doctor said he would not see me again if I did not cut down on my drinking. Fuck him, let the cnut go blind.
The case of the body in a case has taken a dramatic turn, after Paddington Bear was seen on a flight to Peru minus his suitcase.
Having consulted the Equal Opportunities Employment Act, I am starting a new job today , selling sea-shells on the seashore.
My wife says I'm a pathological liar Which is ridiculous because.......................................................... I don't have a wife.
A would-be UKIP candidate was sacked for saying foetuses with Downs Syndrome should be aborted. Does that may him a doom-monger or a mong-doomer?
I was in a shop the other day when i saw a sign that said "we take credit cards" So I paid in cash, checked that everything was still in my wallet and got the fuck out of there
I went on a blind date last night. "What qualities do you like in a bloke then?" I asked. "I like men who are honest." she replied, "What about you?" I said, "I like women who can give good blow jobs."
