RTE News in Dublin are reporting the mysterious appearance of flowers and candles outside Nissan Main Dealers throughout the country.
Michael barrymore said it's great news tom daley is gay. He said it's great to meet someone who takes it up the arse and can swim.
When I got home last night I had a really nasty gash on my arm. I really should stop going out on the pull in Southend.
Feminists are to be congratulated. They have managed to get 'Mutton dressed as lamb' changed to 'MILF' in just 10 years.
Iceland has announced it's new public "face" after getting rid of coke addled Kerry Katona. Step forward Nigella .......
Dappy was recently hospitalised after being kicked in the head by a horse. Music industry leaders are considering giving the 'Outstanding Contribution to Music Award' to the horse.
A cleaner at the BBC music studios threw a demo tape by One Direction into the bin. However she hasn't been sacked or reprimanded. Instead, she has been invited to the BRIT Awards next year to collect the Oustanding Contribution To Music Award.
I asked this fit bird in the pub what she looks for in a guy. She said, "I want a guy who is full of surprises!" So after she sucked me off, I told her I was married.
A jehovah's witness knocked on the door earlier, It was pissing down and freezing outside so I invited him in. "take a seat I said, would you like a cup of tea"? "Thankyou very much Sir" said the religious salesman. Popping his drink on the coffee table I smiled sat down and asked "Where shall we start then"? He looked at me and said "Fuck knows I've never got this far"!
I have decided to buy my four kids a Christmas tree each this year. Then they can tell if money fucking grows on it.
Mrs. O'Malley gets a phone call to say her husband has died at the local brewery. She rushes down there and cries to the manager "Oh my god tell me what's happened to Seamus". Manager says "He fell into a vat of Guinness". "Oh lord no", cries the wife, "please tell me he passed away quickly". "Well, no", says the manager, "in fact he got out three times for a piss".
My wife was standing on a set of steps wearing a short skirt as she placed the star at the top of the Christmas tree. I couldn't resist, I shoved my head up, slipped her pants to the side and gave her fanny a right good licking. Everyone else in the church hall looked mortified.
i phoned the misses for a bit of phone sex. as she answered i said," tell me your not wearing any knickers" she said " i am not wearing any nickers oh ahh". i replied " oh yeah baby tell me what your doing... you naughty girl." she replied "i'm having a shite".
