Joke Page

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Rudolph Hart, Mar 19, 2012.

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  1. My grandfather was shrewd.

    People threw small mammals at him until he suffocated.
     
    #4541 Rudolph Hart, Jan 26, 2014
    • Like Like x 1
  2. The best time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing someone’s plaster cast.
     
    #4542 Rudolph Hart, Jan 26, 2014
    • Like Like x 2
  3. [​IMG]
     
    #4543 Dave, Jan 26, 2014
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  4. Grammarians are never late; they’re always very punctual.
     
    #4544 Rudolph Hart, Jan 27, 2014
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  5. My friend’s ex-wife was deaf and she left him for a deaf friend.

    To be honest, he should have seen the signs.
     
    #4545 Rudolph Hart, Jan 27, 2014
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  6. "How many fingers?" Asked the paramedic as he leant over my wife.

    Dirty bastard; she'd only just regained consciousness.
     
    #4546 Rudolph Hart, Jan 27, 2014
  7. The wife's favourite exercise is a cross between a lunge & a crunch.

    It's called lunch...
     
    #4547 Rudolph Hart, Jan 27, 2014
  8. The other day I held the door open for a clown.

    I thought it was a nice jester.
     
    #4548 Rudolph Hart, Jan 27, 2014
    • Like Like x 1
  9. I'm really good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.


    I don't know y
     
    #4549 philoldsmobile, Jan 27, 2014
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Internet Explorer has finally finished installing on my computer.

    Just checked the online news: It appears a cruise liner has struck an iceberg somewhere near Canada.....
     
    #4550 Rudolph Hart, Jan 28, 2014
    • Like Like x 2
  11. I’ve been revising for a practical exam on pest control.

    I was up all night swatting.
     
    #4551 Rudolph Hart, Jan 28, 2014
    • Like Like x 5
  12. A couple just got married and on the night of their honeymoon before passionate love, the wife tells the husband, "Please be gentile, I'm still a virgin." The husband being shocked, replied, "How's this possible? You've been married three times before." The wife responds, "Well, my first husband was a gynecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it. Finally, my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do was...oh, do I miss him!"
     
    #4552 Phartycr0c, Jan 31, 2014
    • Like Like x 1
  13. I married my wife for her long legs & big tits.

    Now she has long tits & big legs......
     
    #4553 Rudolph Hart, Jan 31, 2014
  14. My wife caught me getting a blow job off her sister.

    She turned to her and yelled, "How could you do this to me?"

    I said, "Well, first you'd need a cock...."
     
    #4554 Rudolph Hart, Jan 31, 2014
  15. image.jpg

    image.jpg
     
    #4555 El Toro, Feb 1, 2014
    • Like Like x 1
  16. I was so ugly as a baby, when my mother breast fed me she used to close her eyes & think of other babies....
     
    #4556 Rudolph Hart, Feb 2, 2014
  17. Fig


    He's a joke.
     
    #4557 Andyd, Feb 2, 2014
  18. Two psychiatrists pass each other; one says hello and the other one wonders what he meant by it.
     
    #4558 Rudolph Hart, Feb 2, 2014
    • Like Like x 1
  19. Money talks.

    The trouble is, it only knows one word: Goodbye.
     
    #4559 Rudolph Hart, Feb 2, 2014
  20. [​IMG]
     
    #4560 El Toro, Feb 2, 2014
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