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Joke Page

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Rudolph Hart, Mar 19, 2012.

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  1. [​IMG]
     
    #4921 El Toro, Jun 27, 2014
    • Like Like x 1
  2. My application to an online dating site has been rejected after I completed their questionnaire.

    Apparently the correct answer to the question 'What do you most like in a woman?'..........is not 'my cock'.
     
    #4922 Rudolph Hart, Jun 27, 2014
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Breaking news: Suarez may leave Liverpool this summer.

    Any transfer will be subject to a dental check.
     
    #4923 Rudolph Hart, Jun 27, 2014
  4. .

    image.jpg
     
    #4924 El Toro, Jun 28, 2014
  5. [​IMG]
     
    #4925 El Toro, Jun 28, 2014
    • Like Like x 2
    • Funny Funny x 1
  6. [​IMG]
     
    #4926 El Toro, Jun 28, 2014
  7. Can't find Oxo Cubes in any of our local supermarkets.

    They must be out of stock...
     
    #4927 Rudolph Hart, Jun 28, 2014
    • Like Like x 3
  8. A man has been arrested in the search for an Elvis impersonator.

    He was caught in a trap.
     
    #4928 Rudolph Hart, Jun 28, 2014
    • Like Like x 2
    • Funny Funny x 1
  9. Roy Hodgson was arrested when the England team reached HM Customs at Heathrow.

    He has been charged with multiple accounts of trying to bring dope back into the country.
     
    #4929 Rudolph Hart, Jun 28, 2014
  10. [​IMG]
     
    #4930 El Toro, Jun 28, 2014
  11. My mate's gambling has brought his family closer.

    He now lives in a 1-bedroom flat with his wife & 4 kids.
     
    #4931 Rudolph Hart, Jun 28, 2014
    • Like Like x 1
  12. The all this government surveillance, my mate really regrets turning to his wife last night & saying:

    "I could murder a chinese."
     
    #4932 Rudolph Hart, Jun 28, 2014
    • Like Like x 1
  13. My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him ‘Don’t be Sicily’.
     
    #4933 JR45, Jun 29, 2014
  14. My mate said he asked his wife for anal sex last night.

    He thought: "Why not? She takes everything else the wrong way."
     
    #4934 Rudolph Hart, Jun 29, 2014
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  15. [​IMG]
     
    #4935 El Toro, Jun 29, 2014
  16. I once went out with a girl who trained as a ventriloquist.

    You should have seen the look on her gynaecologist's face!
     
    #4936 Rudolph Hart, Jun 30, 2014
    • Funny Funny x 1
  17. My mate had his son circumcised on the cheap.

    He said it was a rip-off.
     
    #4937 Rudolph Hart, Jun 30, 2014
  18. [​IMG]
     
    #4938 El Toro, Jul 1, 2014
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  19. Ironic that Dolly Parton appeared on the Glastonbury stage at 5pm - considering her previous statements about working hours.
     
    #4939 Rudolph Hart, Jul 1, 2014
    • Like Like x 3
  20. For sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened.
     
    #4940 Rudolph Hart, Jul 1, 2014
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