Joke Page

Researcher claim the first five minutes of life can be the most risky.

Although it does seem the last five minutes can't be entirely without risk either..

 

My niece was upset after her goldfish died today, so I bought her a hamster to cheer her up.

What a waste of money.

The little sod drowned in less than 5 minutes...

 

Q. What do you call a teenager who falsely accused a celebrity of molesting him?

A. The boy who cried Rolf...

 

I was going to post a joke about deja vu.

But it feels like I've done that before...

 

David Cameron has been nominated to receive a Nobel Prize for recycling.

The same fucking lies since 2010.....

 

I've just discovered a hole in my trouser pocket.

No change there then....

 

Marriage is not a word.

It's a sentence.

 

My mate says you'll never catch him out.

He's an agoraphobic.