If I had a pound for every girl who found me unattractive, they would have started finding me attractive long ago.
The wi-fi went down during family dinner tonight. One kid started talking & I had no idea who he was.
The 11 Most Middle-Class Things That Have Ever Happened – Overheard | LikeToDiscover.com – Discover What's Really Important
Can't help thinking Granddad might still be with us if he hadn't had a heart attack when it was his turn at charades.
Apparently a civil servant saw a note from Theresa May & misinterpreted it. The note read: 'Boris, F. Off.'
The rain was pouring down. And there standing in front of a big puddle outside the pub, was an old Irishman, drenched, holding a stick with a piece of string dangling in the water. A passer-by stopped and asked, "What are you doing?" "Fishing" replied the old man.... Feeling sorry for the old man, the gent said, "Come in out of the rain and have a drink with me." In the warmth of the pub, as they sip their whiskeys, the gentleman cannot resist asking, "So how many have you caught today?" "You're the eighth" said the old man.
Whilst trying to help the kids with their history homework, the wife tried searching the internet for 'Medieval servant boy'. The result was: 'Page not found'.
When you see your wife trying on her bikini for the first time of the summer, apparently the best first response is not: "Good for you!"
I wish.... I wish the mother in law was like an internet video. Then I could tap her lightly to find out how much longer she's going to be talking.
My mate is hoping he has a book coming out soon. I told him he shouldn't have eaten it for a bet when we were in the pub last night.
