1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Joke Page

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Rudolph Hart, Mar 19, 2012.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Page 288 of 470
  1. I told my wife I’m not being condescending, I’m too busy thinking about far more important things she wouldn’t understand.
     
    #5741 Rudolph Hart, Aug 15, 2016
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  2. [​IMG]
     
    #5742 Sinister, Sep 11, 2016
    • Funny Funny x 2
  3. It is important to have a good vocabulary.

    If I had known the difference between 'antidote' and 'anecdote', perhaps Granddad would still be alive??
     
    #5743 Rudolph Hart, Sep 11, 2016
    • Like Like x 3
  4. [​IMG]
     
    #5744 Lightning_650, Sep 13, 2016
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Q. How do the Welsh practice safe sex?

    A. We draw a large 'X' on the heads of sheep that kick.
     
    #5745 Rudolph Hart, Sep 14, 2016
  6. [​IMG]
     
    #5746 Lightning_650, Sep 14, 2016
    • Funny Funny x 3
  7. Red sky at night: Shepherd's delight.

    Blue sky at night: Daytime.
     
    #5747 Rudolph Hart, Sep 14, 2016
    • Funny Funny x 3
  8. It's been so hot today, I saw two trees fighting over a dog.
     
    #5748 Rudolph Hart, Sep 14, 2016
    • Funny Funny x 2
  9. A plateau is the highest form of flattery.
     
    #5749 Rudolph Hart, Sep 14, 2016
    • Like Like x 3
    • Funny Funny x 2
  10. Red sky at night: Shepherd's delight.

    Red sky in the morning: Barn's on fire.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
    #5750 Ash34, Sep 15, 2016
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Just deleted all the German names from my mobile phone contact list.

    Now it's Hans free...
     
    #5751 Rudolph Hart, Sep 15, 2016
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • Face Palm Face Palm x 1
  12. [​IMG]
     
    #5752 Sinister, Sep 17, 2016
  13. How to torment a woman:

    Buy her a new pair of shoes made of chocolate.
     
    #5753 Rudolph Hart, Sep 17, 2016
    • Funny Funny x 2
  14. Joke software engineers.jpg
     
    #5754 Pete1950, Sep 18, 2016
  15. My dyslexic mate is a keen sailor & he was due to attend a maritime festival today.

    Apparently he turned up at a celebration for a yeast extract-based spread...
     
    #5755 Rudolph Hart, Sep 18, 2016
  16. I've just got a job as a waiter, it doesn't pay much but at least I can put food on the table...
     
    #5756 El Toro, Sep 30, 2016
  17. I wonder if snowmen get fed up with the smell of carrot?
     
    #5757 El Toro, Sep 30, 2016
  18. ''Do not touch'' must be a scary thing to read in braille..
     
    #5758 El Toro, Sep 30, 2016
  19. An old girlfriend once admitted she used to be a Christian ...

    So I broke up with her.

    It may seem judgemental, but I’d only ever known her as a Christine.
     
    #5759 El Toro, Sep 30, 2016
    • Funny Funny x 4
    • Face Palm Face Palm x 1
  20. I've just followed a magic tractor down the road...it turned into a field..
     
    #5760 El Toro, Sep 30, 2016
    • Face Palm Face Palm x 2
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)
Page 288 of 470
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Do Not Sell My Personal Information