Had to fill out a form for HR at work. It asked: 'Who should be contacted in case of medical emergency?' Apparently the appropriate answer was NOT 'A f*cking good doctor'.
A great day at the Yorkshire zoo today, though the slice of toast in one of the enclosures was strange...I think it must have been bread in captivity....
Went into a record shop the other day, asked the bloke if he had anything by the Doors, he said yes.....a bucket of sand and a fire blanket
Q. What is the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? A. One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.