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Joke Page

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Rudolph Hart, Mar 19, 2012.

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  1. Cheered me up after a crap day at work anyhoo, lol
     
    #621 470four, Oct 26, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 16, 2014
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Check out the reverse round-house at 1.43, uber cool, great technique
     
    #622 Greyman, Oct 26, 2012
  3. Oh god. The guy doing acrobatics with the cat getting into the act.

    Ever had bourbon up your nose? Oh god no.
     
    #623 Loz, Oct 26, 2012
  4. she was only the jockey's daughter, but all the horse manure.
     
    #624 funkyrimpler, Oct 27, 2012
  5. My mate was beaten up after his girlfriend's father asked what kind of contraception they used.

    Apparently 'facial cumshot' wasn't the right answer.
     
    #625 Rudolph Hart, Oct 27, 2012
    • Like Like x 4
  6. [​IMG]

    Mooooooooooooooooove along now! :biggrin:
     
    #626 470four, Oct 28, 2012
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  7. That's what you call a difficult steer.
     
    #627 Rudolph Hart, Oct 28, 2012
    • Like Like x 2
  8. After finishing 10 pints I was dangerously weaving in the middle of the road.

    Then I thought, "It'd probably be safer to make this cane chair at home."
     
    #628 Rudolph Hart, Oct 28, 2012
    • Like Like x 1
  9. I got home today to find my wife masturbating in the bedroom.

    "What's going on here?" I asked.

    "What does it look like to you?" she said with a smile.

    "A yawning sea lion"
     
    #629 Rudolph Hart, Oct 29, 2012
    • Like Like x 3
  10. Greyman it's a turn hook kick
     
    #630 the.kickboxer, Oct 29, 2012
  11. Little Red Ridinghood goes walking in the forest when....she comes accross the BIG BAD WOLF....!!!

    Wolf Wolf why are your eyes so big? She asks demurely!


    Go away, I'm having a s..t!

    :))
     
    #631 Multi rider, Oct 29, 2012
    • Like Like x 2
  12. fkn hell harty, did you get a Chubby Brown DVD for your birthday or sumthin'?
     
    #632 funkyrimpler, Oct 29, 2012
  13. Dunno, it's not my birthday until tomorrow. But I do get quite a range of jokes from friends & colleagues.
     
    #633 Rudolph Hart, Oct 30, 2012
  14. My wife sent me a text:

    "I'm not wearing any knickers. x."

    "Really, why not? x" I replied.

    "Because you didn't do the bloody laundry x"
     
    #634 Rudolph Hart, Oct 30, 2012
  15. I had to tell my patient I'd dreadfully messed up his plastic surgery.
    I'll never forget the look on his elbow.
     
    #635 Phartycr0c, Oct 30, 2012
    • Like Like x 1
  16. How are Jimmy Savile and mobile phone batteries alike?

    We charge them after they're dead.
     
    #636 Rudolph Hart, Oct 31, 2012
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  17. Joke indeed! :wink:
     
    #637 470four, Nov 1, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 16, 2014



  18. ((DOH!!))
     
    #638 470four, Nov 1, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 16, 2014
    • Like Like x 1
  19. this is a classic!!
    my ex was irish..and ive learnt that here entire family were stereotypes. thick as pig shit, constant drinking, fighting, rowing, would only purchase irish goods and services, banking, everything, wherever possible (they all live england but have their cars insured from ireland etc etc), constantly going on about how fkd up the english are, constantly going on about being irish, 30 people on the house with tents in the garden, irish folk blaring out every weekend, their entire social circle made up from relatives, unrelenting procession of births, christenings, deaths and marriages, hardly anyone talking to anyone else for months at a time, swearing and half of them were born in england!! her dad was 1 of 12, her mother 1 of 11...permanent state of chaos, no one to be reasoned with and no one to have any meaningful dialogue with..i used to feel sorry for the neighbours...thankfully, not all irish are like that..presumably.
     
    #639 funkyrimpler, Nov 1, 2012
    • Like Like x 1
  20. im irish and funny you should say that as i run about with guys who moved here from england and they are just the same about how great it is over there, only they cant drink for shit, dont insure their cars as they are tight, hate everything only themselves, moan for nothing, think the world owes them a living and best of all when i tell them to fuck off home they say "no i like it here the people are friendly !!!":wink:
     
    #640 Unicycler, Nov 1, 2012
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